The Love Dare

I have been reading a book called The Love Dare, which was inspired by the movie Fireproof that was in theatres recently (I actually went and saw this at the dollar movie last weekend...by myself!! I was in the mood for a movie but no one I knew was interested in seeing that particular one...so I decided to go solo. It was really weird going to a movie by myself, but I actually enjoyed the show, so I guess it was worth it). Now, both this book and the movie are probably way more relevant to all you married folks out there, but I actually have gotten a lot out of them, especially the book. Even though it is directed toward married couples and how to treat your spouse, I actually take a lot from it on how love should look and act in general....toward all the people in your life. I have a lot to learn about "love is patient....love is not selfish...love is thoughtful....love believes the best...love is satisfied in God.."..and all those other great themes, even though I don't have a signficant other. I think we all have so much to learn about unconditional love, which should be exhibited in all our relationships, and though this book is pretty simple and not the most profound book I have ever read, I like how it breaks down and examines the many characteristics of "love" as described in 1 Corinthians 13 (my all time favorite passage in the Bible.) One of the ideas that I have really been contemplating is that of leading your heart rather than following it. So often we toss that phrase around...just follow your heart! What does your heart tell you to do? What do you feel in your heart? However, this book reminds us that our heart is deceitful and that the key is to lead our heart in the direction it should go, rather than relying on our feelings (that can change in the wind, or that may be completely MIA altogether at times) to guide our decisions and the way we treat others. It also challenges me to examine my motives in everything I do for others....which can be an ugly but needed analysis.

Like I said...not the most revolutionary book ever...but definitely a positive read, for married and single people alike!

Well....I Could Always Teach.. I Guess

Recently I have been seeing some billboards posted along the freeways here in Dallas. They simply say in large letters, "Want to Teach?" Then in slightly smaller letters, "When Can You Start? www.teachtexas.org"

These billboards irk me every time I pass them. They seem so nonchalant, so casual, as if teaching is something you can just show up one day and start doing. Sadly, I have to admit, our requirements for teachers have been lowered enough that it actually is almost that easy, but even as a product of alternative certification myself, I am deeply convicted that this attitude toward teaching is at the root of our educational woes.

Part of the "No Child Left Behind" movement was to ensure that all teachers are "highly qualified." Each state has its own way of determing what constitutes this status. Texas has recently changed its law where anyone with a four-year degree can take a content-area certification test to be accepted into an alternative certification program and start teaching. Basically, that means that a random Joe off the street with a degree in Underwater Basketweaving could randomly decide to sign himself up for the 8-12 biology certification test, for example, cram for a couple months, pass the test, and walk into a classroom a month later on a temporary permit. He would have to be accepted into a program (based on passing the test), but those requirements are fulfilled simultaneously while working as a first year teacher of record....not a student teacher, not an intern...a full-fledged teacher of record.

I can't count the number of people I know, who uncertain of a career choice after college, would state, "Well, I could always teach if nothing else works out." I was one of those people, as a matter of fact. I had done a little subbing in Lubbock; it seemed easy enough. The pay seemed decent enough for me and hey, those summer vacations sounded great. However, it wasn't until I was in my own classroom and was faced with dozens of bodies of walking potential that I was responsible for developing, that I realized....this is not as easy it seems. Teachers not only need to know their content forward and backward, but they need to know how to analyze each individual child and creatively come up with ways to present that content in dozens of different ways so that each unique child is able to grasp it and own it. That, my friends, is not something you can show up one day and start doing.

Why do we pay doctors and lawyers so much? Because their services are valued. Their services require years of hard work, study, and stringent qualifications. Not everybody can be a doctor or lawyer. Not anybody can just go to med school. We would not want to go to a doctor who showed up at the clinic one day with a four-year degree and somehow passed a test on a fluke. Why then do we trust our children's futures and minds with people who may not actually know anything at all about education, much less the content area they teach?

Yes, I know we need teachers. As adamantly as I believe in qualified teachers, I also believe in small class sizes and student-teacher ratios. But I don't believe in just filling the rooms with warm bodies and giving them a paycheck in the name of a 20:1 ratio. Somehow, we have got to demand more of our teachers. They have got to be masters of their trade! They can't be just math teachers or science teachers....they have to be real scientists and real mathmeticians! They have to know their stuff! And they have to know how to transfer that knowledge to students in meaningful ways...ways that give students real-life problem solving skills.

There is a lot of debate on what would fix the educational system...more funding...more schools...more technology....more parent involvement....etc etc . All of those things are indeed important. But I think we need to start first with getting GOOD teachers in those classrooms. If we require more of the teachers, then we will need to pay them better. If we pay them better, then we can expect more. If it becomes a better-paid and more valued position, then more quality people will be drawn to the field and retained in the field. Experience and longevity will go a long way in a school's success. What if we actually encouraged teachers to further their education? What if we actually required Master's degrees and compensated teachers accordingly? (The $1000 per year pay increase is not exacly motivating or sending the message that the extra education is valued). What if we actually demanded that teachers be learners? We can have a brand-new school, full of beautiful books and all the technology in the world, but if we don't have innovative, creative, and knowledgeable teachers to know how to use it, it will become nothing but a pointless expense. I firmly believe that good teachers know how to overcome all the baggage that kids come to school with today....they can overcome lack of parent involvment and support, poverty and lack of funding and all the myriad of problems that we tend to use as excuses for our own failure as educators. Am I one of those brilliant teachers? No...I'm not. Every day I struggle with my own mediocrity. I myself am the reason that I am so passionate about the need for truly highly qualified teachers....because I'm not one! I was one of those people who came in through the back door and I am painfully aware of how unfair that was to so many of the students who have been entrusted to my care.

Last year I heard of a new charter school in New York City that is going to be paying their teachers $125,000 a year. My jaw dropped. Despite the difference in the cost of living, teacher salaries in New York are about the same as here in Texas. Out of curiosity, I looked at the application requirements, and gosh was it intense. The application was like applying to Harvard! Yet, because the compensation they offer sends the message that they value their teachers, they have the right to demand the best. At the end of the day, they will recruit only the most experienced, smart, and innovative people in the field. If they have good, quality teachers, the need to spend money on a lot of fancy curriculum or "interventions" and big buildings will be minimal. People might still be drawn to teaching for the wrong reasons (paycheck and spring break), but they won't be allowed in and definitely won't be allowed to stay unless they prove their worth. Teaching MUST be a calling...a passion...a mission...not a last choice option for people for people who can't figure out any other career. It MUST be something that candidates are carefully and rigorously prepared for... not a "when can you start?" walk-on type position. Only when we start demanding high expectations for our teachers can we demand high expectations for our students.

I Stand Corrected

Yesterday I bitterly stated in so many words that Dallas ISD rarely closes for bad weather. Well, less than 24 hours later....DISD closed for the day. It was rather icy this morning from what I could tell from the overexcited news people. You have to take their reports with a grain of salt since they over-exaggerate everything...as if Dallas was experiencing the ice storm of the century. (By the way...what does that mean? Taking things with a grain of salt? Where did that saying come from anyways?). However, since they were forecasting a high in the mid-40's today I felt that a delay in starting times would have been sufficient. I wasn't particularly thrilled about staying home today because that means that we will have to make it up later...either on Good Friday or an extra day in June...when we're not doing anything except holding the lid on until the madness ends for summer. What that means is that after spring break, we will not have another break until school is out in June...right during the time of year that you need a mental holiday the most!!! We have yet to have a normal week of school since the Christmas break. We went back on the 6th, so that was a short week. The following week, they were taking exams so they got out every day at 1:00pm. The next week was MLK day and a teacher workday, so that was a short week. This week was the weather day and also we'll have an early release on Friday. The lack of structure and routine is quickly taking its toll as the students' behavior deteriorates at a rapid pace...and we still have four full months to go!! But regardless, I was glad to not have to get out on the roads this morning, even if I have had a restless day. I was thrilled about my class in Mesquite being cancelled tonight...my book hasn't come in yet and thus I wasn't prepared...so that was a nice little bonus. I was a little frustrated because I left my bag with all my Practicum stuff at school, thinking I was going to work on it some today there, and as it turns out, I had all day to work on it here at home. Instead I was restless and antsy all day.

Well, I think I'm going to go work out to burn off some of this nervous energy after a day that was totally unproductive in every way!

Schema Part 2 and Other Random Things

Alright, since all my avid readers were just leaving comments right and left and clamoring incessantly to know about last time's mystery passage, I guess it's time for me to end the suspense.

Now I need you to go into your brain, open your file cabinet, and take out the folder that's all about.....laundry. Now, re-read the passage and see how your understanding changes. Aha!! Makes sense now doesn't it! Amazing how a little bit of background information can make all the difference in how we comprehend what we read. (Actually Brandon was pretty close!) Therefore we can see how important it is not only to have a lot of schemata upon which to draw from, but how important it is to make connections and activate prior knowledge before reading if possible in order to enhance comprehension.

Enough of the educational stuff. Today is a very cold, drizzly, icy day in Dallas. Of course, Dallas ISD would not close even if we were in the middle of Hurricane Katrina, much less a little wimpy ice storm, so here we are. That's actually okay with me. I would rather have Good Friday or get out on time in June later in the spring than stay home because of a little ice. Of course I may not be saying that later on when it's time to go home and there is a half-inch on the roads as they are predicting. Now if it were Wednesday night, I'd be all for staying home (that's the night I have class in Mesquite) but since it's just Tuesday and I wanted to work out tonight, I'm slightly annoyed by the inconvenience.

My classes have started for the semester and let me just say....I'm in for a little work. Well, more than a little. I am doing my Practicum in the library this semester and wow, is it tedious. I'm just fortunate that I'm already in my own library instead of having to work in 135 hours on top of teaching like many people do. The other class I am taking is another instructional technology class, but it's face-to-face and not online, so it takes some schedule adjusting. I am also taking 12 hours of technology classes with the district (4 sessions that are 3 hours each) in order to get some new technology (like a laptop cart, document camera, data projector, etc) for the media center. So I'm definitely going to be getting my tech skills up this semester! After this semester, I will have one class this summer and two in the fall...and I'm done!!! Except that I'm going to go ahead and finish my MRT (Master Reading Teacher) certification while I'm in school mode...which is two more reading classes and a certification test (I have one of the required classes already). I'll take the school librarian certification test in June. So then I'll have three certifications and a Master's....no excuse for me not to have a job if we're in for a recession!

Also...update on the house search. I have now turned my attention to the townhome/condo option. The pros to this are: a) there are more of these located in the inner Dallas area that I would like to live in; b) I don't have to worry about the outside maintenance issues like lawn, roof, etc etc. that really don't interest me at this point; c) they are about the same size as a roomy apartment and usually come equipped with appliances already so I don't have to worry about buying a bunch of stuff like refrigerators and stoves and furniture to fill up the rooms; d) since they are about the same size as an apartment, I don't have to worry about my energy bill budget quadrupling...because we all know that I like to stay nice and toasty, but I don't know if I could afford my preferred level of warmth in a house! Now the downsides to this option have been that a) most include a huge Homeowners Assocation Fee on top of the mortgage amount, b) the ones that are in my price range have seemed kind of crummy on the outside, so you're paying that huge fee for....what?? c) you're actually getting less space and less "property" for the same cost and you still have to worry about being right up next to other people. I have found a few that include all utilities in the HOA fee, so that would be nice...but I have yet to find one where all my required ducks (location, cost, quality, desired indoor features) line up in a row. So...I'm not sure where this is all going. I don't have much time to look like I'd like to, but I squeeze it in when I can.

Well, I have been told that my posts are too long to hold people's attention to the end, so I need to work on that! Now that I'm finally blogging, I don't know when to shut up! I leave you with another quote (I'm a quote girl....love them!)

"To many of us who attain what we may and forget those who help us along the line--we've got to remember that there are so many others to pull along the way. The further they go, the further we all go."- Jackie Robinson

Quote of the Day

The truth is that there is nothing noble in being superior to somebody else. The only true nobility is being superior to your former self.

- Whitney Young

Schema Theory

Okay everybody. You have an assignment. Here are the instructions: write a summary for the following passage after reading it only once and not referring back to the text. Alright, are you ready? Here you go....

The procedure is actually quite simple. First you arrange things into different groups. Of course one pile may be sufficient depending on how much there is to do. If you have to go somewhere else due to lack of facilities that is the next step, otherwise you are pretty well set. It is important not to overdo things. That is, it is better to do too few things at once than too many. In the short run this may not seem important but complications can easily arise. A mistake can be expensive as well.

At first the whole procedure will seem complicated. Soon, however, it will become just another facet of life. It is difficult to foresee any end to the necessity for this task in the immediate future, but then one can never tell. After the procedure is complete, one arranges the materials into different groups again. Then they can be put in their appropriate places. Eventually they will be used once more and the whole cycle will then have to be repeated. However, it is a part of life.

So....how did your summary go? Are you baffled? Confused? Wondering what the heck this person is talking about?

Reading is the ability to make meaning out of text. It is not just putting letters together to form the appropriate sounding words, but being able to create meaning out of those words. We all bring something to the text that helps us create that meaning....that background knowledge is called schemata. In 1938, a woman named Louise Rosenblatt published a book called Literature as Exploration and showed that readers use prior knowledge, information, and experiences stored in the mind to make meaning from a text. According to Rosenblatt, during reading a reader integrates this personal knowledge with the author's words, creating an original text. What a reader brings to a text affects their ability to comprehend the author's words. While reading, readers constantly construct meaning by using past experiences and knowledge to fill in implied information. Good readers find this process so natural that they are unaware that they are filling in data that has never been mentioned in the book. Research consistently reveals a strong reciprocal relationship between prior knowledge and reading comprehension. The more one already knows, the more one comprehends, and the more one comprehends, the more one learns new knowledge to enable comprehension of an even greater and broader array of topics and texts (Linda G. Fielding and P. David Pearson in Educational Leadership).

In the passage above, some of you may be missing some background information and it is affecting your comprehension of the text. (I'm debating whether to go ahead and fill in some of your missing schemata or whether to wait and hear what your guesses are as to what the passage is about! Hmmm...I think I want to hear your interpretations!) However, you may be experiencing what a number of kids go through on a daily basis as they go through their days at school, attempting to read and make meaning out of the many texts placed in front of them.

I mentioned in previous posts how limited the experiences of some kids, especially in more economically challenged areas, are. Once I learned about this theory, it really made sense to me. I now understand why reading and standardized tests are such a struggle for our students. I believe it is because they have so little schemata on which to construct meaning from. Schemata is kinda like a big file cabinet in your brain. Every time you read something, see something, hear about something...you tuck it away in a little file in your brain until you need to pull it back out to understand something later on. The more you read, see, do, and experience, the fatter your files are and the fatter your files continue to get. But for some kids, who rarely read or are read to, who rarely travel outside their neighborhoods, and rarely expand their cultural intake beyond BET and K104, there is not a lot of opportunity to fill their files. Growing up, we lived in the country. We didn't watch a lot of TV at all. Some would think that our opportunities for learning were limited. Even though our family wasn't rich, we did take trips every summer. We did read. My brothers spent hours watching my granddad or my dad and uncle fix things. Brandon spent hours taking things apart and putting them back together. We were always doing or reading things, and all of that helped to broaden our knowledge enough to have the tools to gain even more knowledge.

When I was still in the classroom teaching reading, it was easy to see when the students' meaning broke down as we read. Class discussions would reveal just how many gaps there were in their understanding. There is so much prior knowledge that is missing sometimes, that I'm sure that reading their textbooks or passages for standardized tests can be like reading in a foreign language. Let's say that the reading passage on the TAKS test was all about a camping trip. For kids who have experienced camping, they are going to be able to connect and relate well to the story. They are going to be able to visualize it as they read and thus have a better comprehension at the end. But for kids who have never been camping, never been in the outdoors, and don't really know anyone who has, this text is going to be much harder to understand. They're going to be distracted from the story's purpose by trying to figure out what to visualize in their mind. They don't have any files to draw upon and overall comprehension will be limited, even if they can "read" every word in the story fluently.

This is why I feel so compelled to expose kids to as many different things as possible. This is why I like to bring Khris out to West Texas and just let him observe new things. Sometimes I will pick kids up and just let them run errands with me. We might go to the bank so they can see how to deposit money or to the post office to see how to mail a package. My favorite part of the After School Academy used to be the field trips. We went to nature trails, to the Mrs. Baird's bread factory, to a Dallas Mavericks game, to college campuses. The kids may not remember these trips in detail, but hopefully each experience gave them a chance to tuck some kind of new knowledge away in a file somewhere, to be pulled out and used subconsciously later on. Therefore, I believe education is much more than reading, writing, and math...it is all the varied experiences that give you the tools necessary to make meaning out of texts, out of life, really. All kids deserve at least a chance to have those opportunities, no matter what neighborhood they live in.

With that said, I would like to know what you think the opening passage was about! Leave your summaries in the comments section! I'll give you some important background information next time and we will see how your interpretations change! :-)

Home is Where the Heart Is!

It's hard to believe that February will mark six years that I have been living and working in the Dallas area! I initially came here to do an internship (at Central Dallas with Janet), but I really didn't come with the intention of settling down and being here six years later. But...here I am! At times I still wonder...is Dallas it? Is this where I want to be? Where else could I go? What else could I do? I toy with different ideas and possibilities from time to time, but for some reason, the idea of packing up and starting over somewhere else doesn't appeal to me at age 29 like it did at age 19. Therefore, the years continue to slip by and without even realizing it, Dallas becomes more like home. One of the only regrets I have about being here is the distance from all my family out in West Texas. For that reason (and sometimes when I'm screaming my head off in the car from road rage in the Dallas traffic) I sometimes consider heading back closer to home ( like Lubbock) but the time has just never seemed right to do so. Now that I'm starting to get more focus on my purpose here, such as with the possibilities with the girls' program, I'm definitely not considering going anywhere soon, or at least not in the next year or two (although I will not completely rule out Colorado or Lubbock in the future!)

Recently, I heard of what I thought sounded like a fabulous opportunity for teachers to buy homes at a 50percent discount. Further research showed that there is indeed a HUD program called the Teacher Next Door Program that does this. Buying and owning a house always seemed so...grown up. Definitely not something that had ever appealed to me. I was just fine in my apartments that came equipped with all the necessary appliances and where I could just pick up a phone and call if anything needed repaired at no cost, hassle, or concern to me. I don't have time to worry about yards or roofs or siding or plumbing or any of that junk. BUT the idea of owning a home and paying a mortgage payment that is half the cost of rent for an apartment did capture my attention. Further investigation told me that though the Teacher Next Door program is a valid program, it is very difficult to get into a house and the houses aren't always the most desirable homes. But I did find out that I could still purchase other HUD homes, or even just regular homes, very inexpensively right now. Suddenly it seemed to make a lot of sense to invest in a home, pay less for a mortgage than rent, yet get more space and privacy...and make smarter use of my finances while I was at it. Since I'm not looking to leave Dallas in the immediate future, that did not pose a conflict to this idea. Thus, my quest to become a homeowner has begun.

However, it hasn't been an easy search so far. It is complicated by the fact that I have no idea where I want to live. As many of you know, when I first began working full-time for Central Dallas, I moved to South Dallas to be a part of the community in which I worked. I lived there for three years and it was one of the important experiences I have had in Dallas. Most people, white or black, can't seem to fathom why I chose to live there. Our world has such a hard time accepting people who aren't in their appropriate "box." We are so stuck on where certain people "belong" and what neighborhoods are for what kind of people. According to all of our society's unspoken rules, I didn't belong in South Dallas. I was crazy for being there. Yet many of the things that people claim they want in an ideal neighborhood (sense of community, neighbors looking out for each other, etc) was at the heart of where I lived. (By the way, my friend Janet wrote her dissertation about this....ask her if you can read it sometime!) When I began working at Central Dallas, I was very conscious of the fact that my background was very different from the people around me. My experiences, my struggles, my knowledge were based in a very different world. I understood that my history and the values that were passed to me shaped my world view in very different way. I also noticed an immediate distrust toward me from the people I met. It wasn't rude or hateful...just a subtle skepticism. Rather than be offended by this distrust, I sought to understand its roots. In more impoverished and underserved areas like South Dallas, it is common for white people to descend from their comfortable suburban bubbles for a day or two, do their charitable deeds, and return home at the end of the day to their safe havens, miles away from the uncomfortable situations they witnessed. They come with their own agendas, their own answers, and their own solutions to the problems they think exist...yet rarely take the time to really get to know the people and the communities they come to "serve." They have the comfort of leaving it all behind...out of sight, out of mind at the end of the day or the end of their project. However, I wasn't comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with the way our world is segregated into communities based on color. I believe that in God's kingdom, we will all sit around the table together...and since we are supposed to be about emulating God's kingdom here on earth, then we need to start being around each other. I wanted to understand the culture in which I worked. I wanted to understand the struggles and the lives of the kids and families I saw every day. I wanted to work side by side in making South Dallas a better place for all of us because it was all of our community. I wanted to go the post office and the grocery store and see faces I knew. I wanted to drive the street and wave at kids I had seen earlier that day at school. How could I learn how to be a part of making South Dallas a better place if I didn't even understand its history or its challenges or its people? The best way for me to do that was to make it my home too. By making it my home and not just somewhere I worked, I gained a much deeper insight and understanding into the world around me that shaped what I did every day. I built relationships and genuine friendships and gained a sense of solidarity that I believe is what this whole community-building work is really about anyway. I found that although I came from a very different place, we're really not that different after all. We all want the same things, dream the same dreams for ourselves and those we love. I made some of the most improbable, yet most meaningful friendships of my life here. I've had some of the most wonderful and generous people I've ever met as neighbors. Living in the community allowed me to see it for all its positive qualities and not just the negative stereotypes with which it is often labeled. It was one of the most rewarding times I've had in Dallas.

However, about two years ago, my apartment started getting broken into. I was broken into three times in a month's time, and the last time, I was actually inside asleep when they entered. I didn't even know until the next morning when I woke up. Of course, this caused great concern for my family and others who cared about me and I was urged to move. To this day, I still feel I would have stayed, but I gave in to those voices around me that were adamant about me moving to another area. I moved to a quiet apartment complex in North Oak Cliff, not far from downtown, where two years later I have yet to know a single neighbor's name. Yes, I enjoy the quietness at times, but I miss the sense of community and even family that I had in my old neighborhood. Living in a "nice" or "safe" area just because that is where I am supposed to want to live has never motivated me, although I enjoy feeling safe, don't get me wrong. But its just that I am very aware of my motivations and reasons for choosing where I live.

And thus my dilemma as I search for a home to buy. Most of the homes that meet my specifications as far as quality and cost are located in Duncnville, DeSoto, Lancaster, Balch Springs, Cedar Hill....suburbs that are at least 20-25 minutes from where I work and areas to which I have absolutely no other attachment. I just can't get enthused about that. Yet I don't have many options when it comes to the area closer to where I live and work...and I do understand people's concerns about safety and break-ins because that is a reality of urban living (not just limited to South Dallas though!!!).

So I'm a little stumped on the relocation issue right now. I don't want to make a commitment of this magnitude without feeling 100% great about it...location-wise, quality-wise, and price-wise. That's a difficult combination to come up with! I do have a few months (until June) to make a decision, so I will be diligently searching until then. I'll keep you posted!

Wow.

Today was a day that I truly felt proud to be an American. A day that I truly began to grasp the significance of what America was intended to stand for and a day that I began to understand what a long road was traveled in reaching those ideals. Today was a day that had nothing to do with politics or political agendas or political ideologies. It had nothing to do with Republicans or Democrats, liberalism or conservatism to me. It had everything to do with me being able to walk into my school that is filled with brown and black faces and know that the skills and knowledge that we strive to teach can truly take them anywhere they dream and desire to go....that we can, for the first time in America's history, tell our children that no dream, no achievement, no title is beyond their reach because of the color of their skin.

I got chills as I watched Obama place his hand on the Lincoln Bible (the President whose understanding and commitment to the true meaning of freedom made today's event possible) and promise to protect and defend the very same Constitution that only a few generations ago would have defined him as only 3/5 of a human. I got chills as I listened again to the words of Dr. King that were only a dream 40 years ago...but realized that the day has come in America where someone can be judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin.

Today was amazing because it gave HOPE. The meaning and significance of the day was so deep, so far-reaching, so powerful that I think we all struggle to find the words to describe it. But to see how far our country has come... to recognize the sheer evil and ugliness that it is slowly managing to rise above...that gives such an umatchable feeling of hope and possibility. All across the nation, in all of our little corners of the world, we are surrounded by imperfection, by struggles, by pain, and by things that are not as they should be. We are surrounded by injustices, by the consequences of evil and wrongdoing. In our little corners of the world, we are all fighting for something. We are all fighting to make something better. Our motivations and ideals and goals and values may be different. And our foes may be different. But at times our weariness and our discouragement can be the same. The feeling that what we're doing doesn't matter, that things won't ever change can attack us all. But today symbolized that sometimes things can change. I'm sure that fifty years ago, there were plenty of people who looked at the injustices, hatred, and dehumanizing mindsets around them and felt there was no way to change it...that every attempted step forward only led five steps backward. I'm sure they felt change would never come and I'm sure it was tempting to give up...to resign themselves to the "way it is." We've all felt that at times no matter what our personal struggle or battle is. But what today is proof of is that we shouldn't give up...that change is possible! Mindsets and beliefs and people can change! We need that hope so desperately, or else what are our lives about? Our lives and our personal missions would be futile and meaningless if we had no hope that change is possible, no matter how huge the foe may be, no matter how deeply entrenched it may be. America won a victory today against a massive beast... a beast that has had its claws in the core of our nation since its very beginning. Although it is not the final victory against racism and hate, and although there are many more battles to fight, today was a day that meant the beast is weakening its grip....that after a 300 year struggle, people are overcoming. And that to me, that means that no matter what the beast is that we're up against, we can have hope...hope that it can be overcome.

We will never know the millions of struggles and sacrifices that have been made along the road of history in the name of protecting freedom and protecting justice. We will just never know and never fully understand. We get glimpses of it when we look back at what history has captured...but it only has record of a few people who paved the way. There is no way to record every American along the way who made some personal sacrifice, who stood up to someone, who attended meetings and marched in protests and participated in boycotts, who risked their jobs or even their lives, who watched their children suffer through tauntings and abuse, who signed up to fight bloody and ruthless wars in foreign lands, who spent hours composing legal documents for court battles, who sat in jails and prisons, who made signs and sang songs and wrote letters and made dangerous friendships, who went without sleep and without food and who cried tears of pain for those injured in the fight. But without those countless sacrifices, of people walking by faith and not sight, of believing that things could be different, despite all odds...without people willing to lay down their lives for an IDEA...today wouldn't have happened. But it did. And thus the awe at what transpired today. And the hope that it inspires.

So regardless of our political positions or even our moral convictions, I feel that today is a day to be proud....proud of our nation whose ideals of freedom, of democracy, of justice for all are finally being portrayed to the world. In a major way, America is finally becoming all that it says it is. So tonight, I'm not a Republican or a Democrat. I'm an American and I'm really proud to say so.

Words That Live On

Growing up, I never knew much about Martin Luther King, Jr. I knew there was a holiday every January, but I really didn't know who he was or what a huge role he had played in history. I guess growing up in a rural area with a very low population of African-Americans, this part of history was very conveniently left out or brushed over in our social studies classes. Therefore, when I became an adult, moved to Dallas, and began interacting in neighborhoods and with people from backgrounds very different than my own, my eyes began to be opened as just how much I wasn't seeing as to the existence of racism in America and the effects that it continues to have. Suddenly I found myself on a journey...a journey to understand our cultural differences, to understand the stories and lives of people different than myself, to understand the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) systemic injustices in our country, and to really look closely at myself as a middle-class white American and how I have benefitted from "white privilege." The journey is first a quest to understand, and secondly, a quest to know how to "be the change." So it was on this search for deeper awareness that I of course began to read the writings and learn more about the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Anyone who finds themselves on this journey will inevitably be led to this man and find themselves changed forever by his ideals, his powerful words, and just the depth of the movement he inspired.

Today is the day our nation has set aside to honor this man, yet it is a tragedy to me how many Americans are really unaware of the impact of Dr. King's life. It is a tragedy to me that this day is too often seen as primarily a "black" holiday. All of us, black, white, brown, or green or purple have so much to learn and a good place to start is with the words that this amazing man left behind.

So today I would like to share just a few of my favorite quotes taken from some of Dr. King's speeches and writings. Read them carefully and let the power and wisdom of his words resonate with you and in your life today...and every day.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."-- "Letter from Birmingham Jail"

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige and even his life for the welfare of others."-- Strength in Love

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people."-- "Letter from Birmingham Jail,"

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."-- Strength in Love

"If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live."

"Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will."-- "Letter from Birmingham Jail"

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant."-- Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. "

"Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see. "

"He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. "

"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. "

"Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. "

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

"The means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek."

"Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals. "

"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him. "

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. "

"Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice which make philanthropy necessary. "

"Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one's soul. "

"The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" "

"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education. "

"There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love."

"We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now."

"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality. "

"Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better. "

"When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative. "

PCA P.E.A.R.L.S.

On my post yesterday I forgot to include the name of the future girls' program....

P.E.A.R.L.S.

Preparing Educated and Responsible Ladies for Success

"Empowering Girls Through Literacy and Leadership"

Mission Statement:

To empower young ladies of all backgrounds and circumstances to become focused, educated, and successful women through literacy and leadership

The mission statement is open for critique and improvement if anyone would like to input! :-)

My New Endeavor- Grant Writing

As I mentioned in a previous post, my position in the library affords me the opportunity to think up and try new programs and activities that I never had the time to invest in as a classroom teacher. As a teacher, you have to be so married to your content area and its curriculum that there is very little time for building in the other types of activities and enrichment that are so important to a complete education for our students. In more affluent areas, there are lots of opportunites readily available for activities outside of school and parents are typically inclined more to make sure their kids are experiencing a wide variety of things, whether it's sports or piano lesons or traveling. It's not that these parents love their kids more; it's just that they have the resources and accessibility to make these kinds of enriching activities a part of their kids' lives. In South Dallas, there aren't places to take ballet or gymnastics. There aren't places to have pottery-making birthday parties or to take cello lessons. Our kids aren't chauffered in big SUV's from soccer practice to math tutoring to rock-climbing after school. They aren't taking trips to Disneyworld and the Grand Canyon in the summer time. These kinds of experiences that add so much to a child's "schema" or "toolbox" for learning are vacant in our student's lives for the most part. (I will share my "schema" theory in the future...if I remember! :-) ) At school, we see how the lack of rich experiences affects the learning process and how the students struggle to apply their learning to real world problem solving. Their view of the world and its possibilities can be quite limited because of limited options presented to them.

Because of this, I am very motivated to try to seek out opportunities and present "options" to the student beyond the academic information presented to them in the classroom each day...opportunities that deepen their knowledge and experiences, that allow them to interact in different settings with different people, and that make it okay for them to be who they are outside what of their immediate culture may expect them to be, if that makes sense. This year I started a girls' book club during lunch with the intent and hope of expanding it into much more. When I was in the classroom, I developed several strong relationships with a number of young ladies especially at our school....young ladies who are smart, sweet, and have so much potential! I am amazed at the strength and resiliency of women in the African-American culture and I can already see signs of that characteristic strength in these girls. These girls are outgoing, outspoken, and open to anything. Given positive options, I have no doubt that these girls could do anything. As many of you know, I work at a summer camp that focuses on girls and through that I have developed a love for people and programs that have a message of hope and empowerment for young girls...that believe in their intelligence, in their inner beauty, and their "amazingness!" In the summer I enjoy working in the midst of so many confident, successful, focused, and empowered women who are sending that message back to our young girls...which I feel is especially crucial in areas such as South Dallas where girls aren't always encouraged to be those things. So when I started my book club, I had the intention of developing it into a place where girls could be girls...read, talk, laugh, and have fun...but then use the opportunity to involve them in new things and new experiences, all while emphasizing the importance of education and goal-setting. I had grand ideas of monthly field trips to colleges and cultural events in Dallas, of Saturday workshops and luncheons in which various women come to speak and present on different things, whether it be college-readiness, self-esteem, or careers. There were plans for mentors, for "girls nights out", and great book discussions that would change their lives. I envisioned a week-long trip to Atlanta in which we would stop along the way to visit civil rights historical sights so that the girls could gain a deeper understanding of their past and people and get to know role-models of strength and integrity from the past who have made the world a better place through their committed acts of sacrifice. We would end up in Atlanta at Spelman College, a historically black college for women that is home to some of the smartest, most intelligent sisters in America. Many of my girls were in POD Spelman here at Pearl C. Anderson....I wanted it to be more than a name, but a goal. And while these were just ideas that I in my limited knowledge thought would be beneficial, I looked forward to seeking the input and collaboration of other women in the community, from mothers and grandmothers and aunts, who could tell me what they wanted for their daughters and what they wished they could offer them.

However, this grand scheme had one problem. Field trips and workshops and books and lunches cost money. The school is so dedicated to passing the TAKS that there are no funds for anything that doesn't fall under that big ugly umbrella. It was tempting to put another pie in the sky and go back to shelving books and hosting mediocre book club gatherings, but then my wonderful friend T.A. motivated me to stop complaining about what we don't have, what we can't do, what we haven't done...and just start doing something! I can't repeat his exact words because they might offend some of you, but basically he said stop griping and start a revolution. So I promptly decided to dig in and start somewhere. Theodore Roosevelt says, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." So that's what I determined to do.

My first step was to research any available grants. I found several, but one to the Dallas Women's Foundation seemed particularly appropriate. The Dallas Women's Foundation advocates for programs that support the growth, health, and education of women and girls in Dallas County and after reading the guidelines, I felt our program would be right in line with their goals. The problem was that I found this grant at the end of December and it was due January 8th. When we returned to school, I diligently and determinedly went to work composing my proposal. It went well until the last section of attachments which required a whole bunch of financial documentation junk that I had no comprehension of whatsoever. The grant application is actually designed more for a non-profit organization than a school, so many of the requirements weren't exactly applicable to our organization, yet the guidelines clearly stated that if any portion were missing it would promptly be thrown out. I went to my principal who was as baffled as I was. We had about two days to figure it out though at that point (we went back to school on the 6th). She referred me to the district grants department and that's where I got on the Titan-sized roller coaster known as Dallas ISD policy. Apparently before you can submit a grant on behalf of a school in the distct, there is a huge rigamarole process you have to go through. You have to do something called an "Executive Summary" which is basically like writing a grant before you write a grant to get the district to approve your attempt to get money. It has to be signed off by about a million people, including the superintendent. Well, this being my first grant-writing experience, I didn't know this. I found out that Dallas ISD would not be allow me to submit the grant to the Foundation until all those million people had seen it and signed it. In the meantime, I still had to round up all this documentation from various departments...the budget office, the accounting office, the attorney's office...etc etc. However, determined and undeterrable, I pressed forward. I will skip most of the details of this ever-so frustrating process to say that I finally got sufficient documentation and got it signed by everyone required, including Dr. Hinojosa himself, and turned it in only 28 hours past the deadline. The Foundation accepted it at that point, but whether that will affect its being considered, I don't know. But I felt so relieved that finally I had DONE something...not just talked about it, wished for it, thought how great it could be, but DID something about. It was very invigorating. And despite the frustration, it was a learning process and I'm ready to start another one! I have three more applications that I would like to attempt for this particular program. Then my next endeavor will be to write grants to improve the technology situation in our media center (another future post! Wow...i think I'm actually getting into this blogging thing!) . It was infuriating to me how difficult the district made it to try to actually step up and take ownership and do something proactive on behalf of the district...I mean I wasn't asking them for money...I was trying to get money for them, for goodness sake! No wonder no one wants to write grants or attempt anything creative. But all I can do at this point is learn as much as I can about their process, whether I like it or not, keeping in mind that the kids here at Pearl C. and in South Dallas need people who are willing to fight for them, who are willing to go through frustrating situations in an attempt to make a more equitable and just learning environment for them, who are willing to do what it takes to level the playing field and make sure there are open doors of opportunity available.

Money is out there. So why shouldn't we take advantage of it?? Why shouldn't it be ours? I may have to jump through a few hoops and do a few clumsy backflips, but I'm sure gonna try! It will be worth a few knots on the head!

Check out some of the lovely young ladies below. Can't you just see them in a courtroom...in a classroom...head of a round table...in a labratory...in a lecture hall...or in a home, reading to their kids...writing books...writing grants...the possiblities are endless! :-)

Every Child Ready to Read

I don't remember learning how to read. I don't remember anyone "teaching" me how to read. From what I am told, I basically just picked it up on my own at around age four. I do remember going to my first day of kindergarten, where my mom informed Mrs. Kingston that I already knew how to read, but Mrs. Kingston, a bit skeptical, kind of brushed my mom off, as if she were one of those overly proud parents who just thinks their kid is the smartest ever. I distinctly remember the moment a few days later when I began reading a book to my classmates in the reading center. Mrs. Kingston overheard me and began pulling different books and pointing at different words to see if I really knew what I was doing and she was quite astonished when she realized my mom hadn't been just boasting. I later began going across the street for reading with the first graders and later the second graders so that I could continue to be challenged. Looking back, it it does seem kind of strange that I wasn't actually "taught" to read, but at the same time, I can remember looking at books all of the time and making up my own stories to go with the pictures, or retelling the stories that someone had read to me in my own words. I remember that my parents took Brandon and me to get our picture made and Brandon was crying (sorry, Brandon, to expose your sensitivity like this, but it's true!). The photographer gave us a book to look at while he snapped our pictures, and I got so absorbed in "reading" that book to Brandon that we both kind of forgot where we were at! I can still remember books that I loved as a child today...I remember how fascinated I was by the pictures....I remembered how I loved how familiar the stories became. As a result, I sort of effortlessly became a life-long reader. School was never extremely difficult for me. Yes, I had my challenges, and yes, I had to work at it, but it wasn't an obstacle for me, nor my brothers. I truly believe that this is greatly due to the fact that my mother, as well as other family members, read to us and exposed us to books and literacy at a very young age. It was a big part of our childhood. We went to the library weekly. I got books for my birthday. Reading wasn't forced on us, but it was just a natural activity within our environment. My family wasn't affluent by any means and we lived out in the country in a very rural area. There weren't all the literacy opportunities that are available to children in areas like Dallas, yet my mom managed to give us a very strong literary foundation and the skills we needed to be successful at learning. I am so thankful to her for that!

One of my best friends has a little girl who is almost two years old. I am always asking him if he is reading to her, if she has books, etc. because this is just something I feel so strongly about. There is so much research out there that shows that the first three years of life are the most crucial in a child's mental and verbal development. Too many parents don't realize that even tiny babies benefit from being read to. I have visited so many homes with young children where there wasn't a book in the house and that is so tragic and so disturbing to me. I have seen children start school and not know how to hold a pencil...know their letters...or even how to hold a book and know to turn the pages and follow words left to right. Now that I'm a middle school educator, I am faced daily with the challenge of trying to help students that are not just relectant readers, but that can't read at all. They are missing so much of this $9,000 education that they are being given each year because those fundamental skills are not there. I have realized that this is one of things I truly feel passionate about advocating...early childhood education.

Yesterday at one of my many librarian meetings, we had a guest from the Dallas Public Library who was very informative about all the Dallas library offers. I am a regular patron of the DPL, but even I had no idea of the really cool stuff they have available, on their website especially. I could digress and tell you all about the great stuff I learned, but I will save that for another time. One of their initiatives is called Every Child Ready to Read @ Dallas, and it is an effort to help parents and caregivers get their children ready to read by the time they start school. It's not expecting parents to teach their kids to read, but just giving them suggestions on things they can do to make sure their kids have these six basic pre-reading skills that need to be in place in order for them to be successful at learning to read. They go to schools, rec centers, nonprofits, anywhere that wants them, and do free workshops with parents and other interested people on how to work with young children. I think this is great because so many parents, especially young parents, may have never been read to themselves and don't really know what to do with their kids. The workshops are also in Spanish to support the growing Hispanic population. As I listened to the library rep and thought about my own experiences, I began to realize just how strongly I feel about kids being "ready to read." I am so glad for the DPL's work in this regard, and I know there are many other organizations and initiatives out there working for the same cause.

I'm really excited to know about ECRR and am already brainstorming ways to get our parents here at Pearl C. Anderson involved (for those parents who have younger children) and other ways I can be a part of this effort. Because I do feel so strongly about it, I'm even open to a career adjustment in the future that may allow me to work more closely with these kinds of initiatives or to be a bigger part of this work. I'm not sure what that would look like or mean at this point, but it is something I know I could be very interested in.

I encourage all of you to think of the young parents in your lives and perhaps steer them in the direction of one of these workshops if you're in the Dallas area, or think of how else you can support them in reading and working with their kids. Check out the ECRR blog that I have linked on the side, or go to http://www.dallaslibrary.org/ and click on the ECRR icon to learn more. Let's be proactive in helping our kids be successful!!

Life as a Librarian

Many of my readers (if I have any!) probably know that I am in my first year as a school librarian. I am still at Pearl C. Anderson, the middle school where I taught 6th grade language arts for two years after leaving Central Dallas Ministries where I worked at the After School Academy for two years...two years after I graduated from LCU...hmm, are we seeing a pattern? Anyways, kids come in all the time and ask, "Ms. Embry, why are you not a teacher anymore?" This, my friends, is a question I don't quite know how to answer. Looking back, I'm not even quite sure how this all came about. Basically, I had started graduate work at Texas A&M-Commerce in the fall of 2007. I initially began pursuing a Master's of Education in Reading. I was enjoying my coursework, but as I began to think more about my long-term goals in getting a Master's, I realized that I had chosen something that would perhaps make me a more effective classroom teacher in the present, but wouldn't really give me any options should I ever decide to leave the classroom. I began to think about what other jobs in the realm of education I could potentially be interested in. Counseling-negative. Administration-double, no, make that triple negative. Library-hmmm, not exactly a negative! I mean I loved the library growing up. I love the library now! I love reading. I love for kids to read. And after a very draining year of being Language Arts department chair at my school, taking a full load of graduate classes, and doing a daily after school program for my students, something a little less stressful was very appealing. Conveniently around that time, our school librarian retired and I happened to inform my principal that I was thinking of changing my Master's program to library science. Before I knew it, the ball was rolling and suddenly I found myself at the beginning of the 08-09 school year on the third floor in the media center!

Shortly after my move, Dallas ISD revealed their multi-million dollar financial problems and the whole chaotic catastrophe known as the RIF (reduction in force) went down. I didn't know whether to feel safe (since teachers were mainly the ones being laid off) or nervous (I'm not yet fully certified as a librarian). Well, I never received a pink slip, so it may have been a well-timed transition after all.

Life as a librarian has been much different than as a classroom teacher..there are some definite perks. Although it is MUCH more than just shelving books as many people seem to think, it is definitely not as stressful as teaching. Don't get me wrong...I have PLENTY of work to keep me occupied, but it's different in that if I don't finish something I'm working on or if I'm behind on some things, I can put it aside and leave it until the next day and feel okay about it. It's not a job that I bring home with me, which was never the case with teaching. My schedule is also much more flexible and I have the freedom to be more creative and try new ideas and projects without the restraints of following closely to a rigid curriculum. Furthermore, people forget I'm here...which can sometimes be a good thing! I've had theopportunity to research and work toward some other goals or ideas I've had but didn't have the time to pursue as a teacher. I can just do my thing and run with it and I don't have a lot of hoops to jump through (well, most of the time. I'm going to tell you about my grant-writing experience in another post). I still get to teach, but I do one lesson plan every two weeks instead of daily. There's no grading...no parent calls...no office referrals...yeah, it's sounding pretty "cushy" isn't it!

However, despite these benefits, I've been feeling just a little bit lost lately. It's not that I dislike being the librarian, but I miss the relationships I had with the students when I was their teacher and saw them on a day-t0-day basis. I miss the "love-hate" relationships, the struggle, and the successes of watching a kid grow before your eyes over the span of a school year. Yes, I still see students in the library, but they usually only come every two weeks or so for one class period. I have my girls' book club (you'll be hearing more about this in future posts!) and my after school group, and that keeps me more closely connected to students, but the majority of these group members are actually my former sixth grade students. They have joined my book clubs because of their prior relationship with me as a student in my classroom. I also have relationships with students who used to be in the After School Academy in Turner Courts and that I have known for three or four years before they ever got to Pearl C. However...with the demolition of Turner Courts and the consequent transfer of most of those students, as well as the fact that many of my former students will be moving on to high school next year...I'm wondering how I'll feel as a librarian when I no longer know any of the kids' names, much less who they are as individuals. Right now, I'm thriving off of relationships built in other settings, but no new relationships are being built to take their place.

We lost a seventh grade student this past week to suicide. It hit me hard, not only because it's tragic to lose a child in such a horrible way, but because although I knew of this girl and saw her every day...I hadn't had the opportunity to really get to know her. I realized that this year, I had stopped seeing the kids as individuals and began thinking of them a just one big mass group of "students." Everything I do is for the "students"...but I'm losing that personal connection to them. They're not "my" students anymore...they're just "students".

One of the reasons I came to Pearl C. after I left Central Dallas was because I still wanted to be in this community. I had built relationships, made connections, and watched kids grow here and I wanted to continue to be a part of that growth. But suddenly, Turner Courts is no more (at least not for five more years or so). The After School Academy is no more (at least not as I knew it). All those kids have scattered across the Metroplex. I'm still here, but suddenly, I'm not sure why. I've lost my place, a sense of my purpose here...and it's made me realize how much relationships are a part of our purpose. I've been struggling a bit trying to carve out a new "niche" and struggling to know how to reclaim that sense of motivation that once drove me.

So...here I am. I'm not sure what all of these realizations mean or where to go with them. Yes, life as a librarian is less stressful in many ways, but is that what really matters to me? On the other hand, it affords me the freedom and flexibility to dream up and create programs and opportunities for our kids that no one else in the school has the time to think about or implement. At the same time, have I grown too comfortable? What happened to the sense of adventure and challenge that I used to crave? It's very easy to become "comfortable" hidden away up here in the media center with no real expectations placed on me other than the ones I place on myself. I used to thrive on putting myself in "sink or swim" situations....challenging situations that forced me to live life with determination. I wouldn't say the transition to the library has been one of those times. So what does this all mean? I'm not sure. It's a lot to consider. (Besides the buying a house decision...that's coming in another post as well!) To most of the people around me, it seems like an easy decision. They covet a position like mine. But I never wanted an easy life. I just wanted a life that makes a difference. So is this the best place for me to do that? I'm not quite sure yet...but in the meantime, I'm trying to make the most of my life as a librarian for now!

Ahh, off to check in six new books of brand new books that I got to pick out myself...now that was fun! Maybe this gig isn't too bad after all! :-)

Here I Go Again!

I have attempted to blog two times in the past, but unfortunately, my blog archive record was approximately....five or six days. Growing up I was always a writer, and I used to be a dedicated journaler...so I'm not sure what my hang-up is on the blogging. However, I must admit... I am a self-confessed blog stalker. I spend a ridiculous amount of time perusing other people's blogs...people who probably have no idea that their long-lost friend is almost obsessively reading about their lives! I figure it is only fair that I reveal myself and join in the conversation! So here goes round three...I am hoping I can be more consistent this time. I really wish that I knew how to do those cute layouts that so many of you guys have, but I'll have to worry about that after I have mastered blogging more than every six months.

I'm not sure I need anything else to distract me this semester...which is probably actually my primary motivation. Anytime I can sit at a computer and feel productive without actually being productive is extremely appealing! LOL!

So, if you are skeptical right now about how long this is going to last....you have every right! But it is truly my intention to prove the scoffers wrong this time!