Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Teachers for Change: A Letter to the Parents

A well-written letter on behalf of teachers in Dallas ISD....

Teachers for Change: A Letter to the Parents: Dear Parents of Dallas ISD- I hope you do not believe some of the rhetoric.  I hope you know that the vast majority of teachers in Dallas I...

Friday, January 27, 2012

My Two Cents

This morning as I read the article about last night's school board meeting in the Dallas Morning News, I find myself with many unanswered questions and concerns about decisions that were finalized by our elected leaders. As most have heard, Dallas is planning to close 11 schools, including the one I have worked at for the past six years. They cite low enrollment and the need for more budget cuts as the reason for these closures. I understand that our district, along with districts across the state, are in crisis due to the severe cuts levied by the state last year and that difficult decisions have to be made. I just don't always understand the thought processes and rationales that go into them and I wonder who is actually doing the research that goes into these decisions.

For example, when I applied at Pearl C. Anderson, it was a large middle school that serviced eight feeder elementary schools. It was the only middle school in South Dallas. From Pearl C., students went on to either Madison or Lincoln. However, my first year here, the district opened Billy E. Dade (which had been an elementary school) as a middle school and split our enrollment. Now we only have four feeder elementary schools, as does Dade. Our enrollment has declined every year since. The low enrollment was compounded when the Dallas Housing Authority made the decision to demolish the Rhodes Terrace and Turner Courts housing projects in this area, which displaced hundreds of families to other parts of Dallas. This was about 3-4 years ago that the housing projects closed and were torn down. They were supposed to be rebuilt which means families would eventually return but so far I haven't seen any progress or heard any news about when that is going to actually begin. As a result, H.S. Thompson Elementary, Pearl.C, and Lincoln took big hits to enrollment, which meant we took big hits when it came to staff layoffs.

Now in 2012, we have only around 450 students enrolled at Pearl C., which is a building designed for 1100+. I've heard that H.S. Thompson has less than 200 students and it is a very large building as well. I'm not questioning the fact that some schools may need to be closed or consolidated to save money. However, I am particularly concerned about the middle school consolidation. As I understand it, Pearl C. students will be transferred to Dade. As I mentioned, Dade used to be an elementary school and is designed as such. Classrooms are small in size and they have numerous portables set up outside to accommodate the small enrollment that they have now. (Dade's enrollment is about the same as ours...400-500 students, if not less). There has been talk that the district is going to build a new school that will house Dade. Meanwhile, the bond work that was started on Pearl C. has been stopped. My question is that if we are trying to save money, how does it make sense to spend millions of dollars to build a brand new school building for Dade and transfer our kids over there, when realistically, they could just finish the renovations on Pearl C. and transfer Dade's kids back over here like it was set up originally. Pearl C. is an older building, but it is large and has been well-maintained and has more than enough room to house 800 students without setting up a hundred portables, as will be the case at Dade. I think with a few renovations (which were scheduled as part of the bond), it has several years of life left in it. Instead, they are going to spend millions building a new school building while this one sits vacant and further contributes to the property value decline and economic depression in this area. That just seems counterproductive to me. It seems it would be more logical to postpone the building of the new school for a few years until the economy and school funding stabilizes and in the meantime, use the larger middle school building (which is Pearl C.) to consolidate students. DUH!!!! But I guess they want to play fruit basket turnover with everyone in South Dallas yet again.

I also have concerns because the school board changed the policy on what will happen to teachers in these closed schools. In the past when schools closed or consolidated, the teachers at the schools that were closing often were automatically transferred along with the students. However, this time all teachers from the closed schools are just going to be released and will have to re-apply for jobs along with everyone else. This just seems like punishment to teachers who have been dedicated and committed to these schools for decades. The district is talking about laying off 400 more teachers next year, but it seems like it should be based on factors that are somewhat within the teacher's control, such as job performance, not school closure based on enrollment. It just seems like a human resources nightmare to try to figure all that out. Supposedly there is some kind of formula that is used when there is a reduction in force but it has always been very vague what that criteria is. It just seems like it is going to be real easy for experienced, highly-qualified teachers from closed schools to get lost in the excess pool along with teachers who are non-renewed for other reasons. It doesn't seem fair that they will lose their jobs while less-qualified teachers may get to keep theirs just because their school wasn't one that closed.

Then, I have concerns because I'm also looking down the road beyond just this year or next. What happens when DHA does rebuild the housing off of Bexar Street? There is already an initiative in place to revitalize that corridor. Really nice townhomes are being built and retail is being brought to that extremely depressed area. But what is closing schools in that neighborhood going to do to that effort? Where will families send their kids to school when housing is brought back? Sometimes I just don't feel DISD really does their research and makes informed decisions. I don't feel they stay in touch with what is going on in different communities and neighborhoods that impacts what happens with schools. I don't feel DISD values the input of their constituents AT ALL. They go through the motions of holding community meetings, etc. but their decisions have already been made. There was huge protest about the closings of these schools, but the decision went forth anyways. This makes parents and stakeholders feel disillusioned about the value of their input. They actually mobilized and made an effort to speak up, but their voices were squashed and people were escorted out of the meeting. What's the point of open meetings, community meetings, if what you have to say has absolutely no influence? No wonder no one in this area votes or participates in the political process. No one thinks they are valuable enough to matter.

Another decision that was made without ANY input from the people it affects was to increase the teacher work day by 45 minutes, effective immediately. Okay, first of all, teachers got NO input on this decision whatsoever, yet this will seriously affect many of us. Once again, I'm not saying there's not value in the proposal, but it's all about how you go about things. Teachers are feeling less and less valued all the time, and when you don't feel valued or respected, the quality of your work declines. So let me get this straight....we haven't had a raise in 4 years (or is it longer? I can't even remember) in Dallas. As a result, many of us have chosen to work part-time jobs to supplement income. Cost of living is going up but our pay is stagnant. Last year, they took away a planning period, added an instructional period, increased class sizes, and eliminated performance pay and stipends. The few shreds of time that anyone has without students is eaten up by meaningless meetings, paperwork, and other garbage that is designed to make it LOOK like we are really doing something for kids instead of actually doing something for kids. Teachers are already tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, and underpaid and now you want to extend the workday by another 45 minutes?? With no increase in pay for our time? While taking away stipends, performance pay, and anything that helped make all the time spent in this difficult profession halfway worth it? DISD is setting itself up for an all-out teacher rebellion if they are not careful. The district always fails to realize that sometimes the best solutions come from the people in the trenches. WE are the ones who understand what is really going on and what we really need. We might actually have solutions that make sense too, but we're never invited to the table. Never. We're forced to ride this nauseating roller coaster that is DISD with absolutely no voice and no value.

I know I don't know all the facts...but that leads me to my final point. DISD is absolutely horrible with communication. No one ever seems to know what is going on. There is an unknown "they" out there who seems to make all these decisions but no one knows who it is. Frequent communication, openness to REAL input and suggestions for solutions, and leaders who listen would go a long ways in how the employees in this district feel. Right now, they've got about 10,000 people who are about fed up. It's almost become just too much. Between what we have to deal with in the classrooms with the kids and with what we have to deal with from administration....the passion for educating kids is being drained quicker than Social Security.

I don't have all the answers by any means. But I just don't foresee some of these decisions being in the best interest of the people that they affect most...the teachers and students in one of the most underserved, underepresented, undereducated, and undervalued communities in Dallas.

Friday, January 13, 2012

So True

"...the reason for our existence on this planet is to establish a relationship with the Person who placed us here. Until that relationship is established, all of our attempts to attain happiness---our quests for recognition, for money, for power, for the perfect marriage, or the ideal marriage, for all that we spend our lives seeking---will always fall short, will never quite satisfy the longing, fill the void, quell the restlessness, or make us happy....God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."-- C.S. Lewis

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Refreshed

Hello 2012!!! I must say that I am going into this new year feeling very optimistic, empowered, and refreshed after a surprisingly rejuvenating winter break. It's amazing what a real BREAK can do for you mentally, physically, and spiritually. I was able to go home to Farwell for a full week and although nothing was really out of the ordinary about this visit (other than the arrival of my wonderfully cute nephew!) I found myself feeling like a new person when I returned to Dallas this past weekend. In reflecting on this time, I realized how much family contributed to "refueling" my spirit. As I shared in my last post, I had been feeling quite disillusioned and empty for most of the last semester. I have recognized that I have some people in my life that are extremely draining and although I care very much about them, they are not people who equally invest into me. As a result, I felt completely wiped out...emotionally, financially, spiritually, physically...and didn't even really realize it.

However, during my time at home I was surrounded by "givers" instead of "takers" and I am not talking in terms of Christmas gifts necessarily. I really have the most wonderful family...very servant-hearted, generous, caring. For a whole week, I was able to rest and be around people who weren't constantly needing or demanding something for their own problems or desires. I was around people who want to help, who want to care, who want to do something to make MY life easier, instead of the other way around. And I think we all need that sometimes....we all need to be taken care of sometimes too. Not only did my family look out for me, but they jumped at the chance to look out for some of the people who are important to me here in Dallas that are going through some struggles. Without even personally having met most of these people, my parents and my brother cared enough about the people that I care about to really go out of their way to do some very generous things to help. My mom hand-pieced and sewed a baby quilt in two days for a young single mom with a newborn that I know here. My brother and my parents provided financially to assist a former student's family that is going through a tough time right now (my brother who is just coming out of a very difficult farming year and has a brand new baby, mind you!). My mom sent a Christmas package to the student in the mail full of goodies. My parents insisted that I not give them Christmas gifts but instead use the money to do something to help the family out. Then I got to go to church with them and hear two very encouraging messages and further witness all the good things that they are doing for others in the church and in the community. I got to visit with my grandparents who at almost 80 years old, volunteer regularly to serve meals at the Lighthouse Mission and help with clothing distribution at the HOPE Center in Clovis, which are just small parts of what they have contributed there over the past several years. My brother and my dad took the time to check over my car for me and made a few tweaks to save me the money of having to take it somewhere here in Dallas to get it checked out. They would all probably be embarrassed to have me broadcasting all of these things but it just meant so much to me and was so refreshing to me that I felt compelled to speak on it. The result was that I came back to Dallas renewed, refueled, and inspired to be more generous, more compassionate, and more purpose-driven in the year ahead. The support and concern I received from my family this past week meant so much to me...the fact that they would do so much for people they haven't met just because I care about them really touched me. I am truly thankful for the example and quiet generosity of my grandparents, parents, brothers, and sister-in-law and hope that I can be a good steward of what they invested and poured into me in the year ahead.


"A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."--Proverbs 11:25

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Something that Matters

I feel like I'm having the proverbial midlife-crisis. Only I've been having it for about 6 or 7 years now. Maybe longer. It may have started back when I was about 17 or 18 and people began asking me what I wanted to do with my life. It seems like I've never known without a shadow of a doubt what it is that I want to do or what I'm even good at doing. All I've ever known is that whatever I do, I want it to matter. I want to make a difference, somehow, someway. There was a period of time here in Dallas that I thought I was really starting to solidify in my mind how I was going to do that, but in recent months (or maybe recent years) I've kind of been struggling. I've been struggling to figure out what it is that I care most about, what I'm most passionate about. I've been struggling to identify what I'm good at, what my strengths are. Basically, I've just been struggling to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to be doing on this earth. For almost a decade, I've been involved in education in some form or fashion, yet it seems like I've never quite found my "niche". To be honest, I've never really felt like I'm a "good" teacher when it comes right down to it. Teaching is an art form. It takes a real talent and I am being very honest when I admit that I don't really have it. I don't have the patience nor the creativity to be a really, really good teacher. Although my move into the library has allowed me the time and freedom to pursue some other things, I can definitely say that this job does not inspire any passion in me whatsoever. Looking back over the past several years, I think the most fulfulling job I had was during my time at the after school program. That was a time when I felt excited about my job, excited about what we were doing. Yet the world of nonprofit can be very unstable and very frustrating. And although making huge amounts of money has never been a priority for me, I do want to be able to make a salary that I can support myself comfortably on and not have to watch every penny every minute of every day. So where does that leave me?? It leaves me looking around the world I live in...seeing sweet girls I taught in sixth grade just 3 or 4 years ago having babies. Seeing boys that were just drawing me cartoon pictures and playing basketball with me on the blacktop dropping out of school and walking around with probation bracelets on their ankles. Tutoring kids who are in 5th grade and still don't know that two nickels make a dime (true story from yesterday). It leaves me working in a district where we put more time into creating an illusion that we are working for kids than we do actually working for kids. All of this disturbs me, but what do I do? What can I do? I'm stumped! I don't know what to do!! I don't know that I can make a meaningful difference in all this by teaching...I'm not sure I have that gift. I definitely don't know that I can make a meaningful difference by being a librarian....I feel more squelched than I ever have in my life right now...just checking off days, passing time right now. I'm about to finish up my second master's degree...I will have three degrees, none of which excite me or are really useful to me in getting me any closer to do something that I will feel inspired about doing. Every day...every night...my mind is constantly turning...searching....mulling...asking "What am I supposed to be doing? Where is my niche? Where is the place that I can really make a real, tangible difference? Where is the place that I can do something that really matters, that I can really be proud of when I look back over my life?"

Every now and then you meet people who are just confident about their career choices. They know with certainty what their life's mission is and they pursue it single-mindedly. I want that certainty! I want to know for certain that I am doing the thing I was born to do. That way I can stop spending all this time searching and put that energy into making the difference that I seek. But nothing has ever felt just quite right...is it me? Or is it that I truly haven't quite discovered my purpose? I mean, I do know what my purpose is...all Christians know what the purpose is. I guess I just need to know my particular avenue, my unique means to that end.

I know we can all make a difference right where we are at. I get that. I'm thankful for my jobs and the opportunities that I do have. But we only get to live this life one time. We only get a short period of time here....I want to love what I'm doing every day while I'm here. I want every day here to really, really matter. I don't just want to fill a space, but to make an impact! I don't just want to be busy...I want the busy-ness to be building something! I don't want just to live, but to be alive! People who know their purpose come alive. I'm just existing right now.

So yeah, I'm having a crisis. As usual. I know this is nothing anyone can help me with except by prayer. But I do pray that I come to know and understand what my strengths and gifts are and to know the specific purpose I was put on this earth and the best way and the best place to live all of that out...so that whenever I do leave this earth, it mattered. Is that too much to ask??

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Forgiveness

At church on Sunday, the sermon was centered around the story of Philemon. To be honest, this is not a book in the Bible that I remember studying much or hearing much about, but last weekend I received a hearty meal from this book that I am still chewing on and digesting! It is a story that illustrates the grace that has been given to us by Christ (through the way that Paul was willing to take the debt for Onesimus' sin) and at the same time teaches us about the necessity of forgiveness. It is also is a testimony to the amazing way that God works things together for good. There were so many "aha!" moments and nuggets to process within these few short verses and so many things that I learned that I won't take time to go into, but I do want to share a few thoughts on this elusive, but life changing thing called forgiveness.

Relationships with people are difficult. People can really hurt us, wrong us, mistreat us, do us dirty. Sometimes we dwell so much on the flaws and shortcomings and sins of the difficult people in our lives and we think only of what they should do or change or what they owe us to make their wrong right. However, what I saw in this lesson about Philemon today was how God works through that to give us an opportunity to look within and grow ourselves, change ourselves. How crazy was it that Onesimus ended up in prison in Rome with Paul of all people...Paul who just happened to know his master Philemon? God worked it out so that not only did Onesimus have the chance to be forgiven and become a Christian, but at the same time he worked it out to give Philemon the opportunity to grow his character and demonstrate the same forgiveness and grace that had been given to him. There was a "reason for the season" in the time that Onesimus ran away from Philemon. Yes, he did wrong, but God picked up the mess and worked it for good to not only give Onesimus the opportunity to be saved but to give Philemon an opportunity to demonstrate forgiveness and grace on a whole new level. Every time someone in our life wrongs us or mistreats us...we have a choice. We can either get angry, hurt, upset, vindictive....or we can look within ourselves and ask...what am I supposed to learn about myself through this situation...what area of my own character can I develop through this situation...how can I show the same grace, forgiveness, and unmerited favor that has been shown to me? Forgiveness is such a beautiful, powerful thing....it just amazes me more the older I get and the more life I experience. We can't change people. We can't change the things that happen to us. We can't stop people from hurting us, disappointing us, or doing us wrong. But we can change how we respond to it. We can change whether we allow other people's issues to hold us back from growing our own character. Unforgiveness can be such a stronghold in people's lives...a cancer. I've seen it. We can allow the wrong that someone else did to give birth to wrong in our own hearts and lives. We can allow it to change us from being "full of love and faithfulness" (as Paul noted Philemon for) to someone else that's bitter or grudge-holding...but we have to remember that's not who we are....not really. It was like Paul started off his letter to Philemon with some gentle affirmations to remind him that he was a loving and faithful person...it's like he was reminding him that it's not "him" to be unforgiving or vindictive...and to not let his anger or disappointment toward Onesimus take that away from him. I'm reminded of a couple of quotes that I've heard before that have stayed with me. The first one is "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner was you." Another one is "Unforgiveness is like allowing someone who has hurt you to live rent-free in your mind." The more I think about it, I think almost everything that happens in life comes back to this theme of forgiveness....of forgiving others so that we might be forgiven, and also that we might grow more into who we are meant to be. The preacher asked how many of us could afford not to be forgiven. No hands went up. Then he asked how many of us then could afford not to forgive others. Though a simple question, it was a profound and powerful moment. Whatever measure we use with others will be used on us....and goodness knows, I need forgiveness and a lot of it. So who am I not to extend the same grace to others, no matter what they have done or how deep the hurt?

I read such an amazing story in People magazine earlier this month. There was a woman whose teenage son was murdered by another young man in the midst of some kind of dispute. The young man was soon convicted and sentenced to quite a lengthy time in prison. But the grieving mother reached out to the young man who had killed her only son in prison with forgiveness and over time, the two ended up building a very special relationship. Now many years have gone by and the man has been released from prison, but he lives with the woman and has become like an adopted son to her. I was just amazed by that story. Now that is forgiveness and grace.

On that note, I encourage you to take a fresh look at the book of Philemon. It is such a short book that it may often be overlooked but there are some truly powerful lessons to be learned there. What is the meaning of life? I'm starting to think just maybe the meaning of life is forgiveness....what about you?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Quote

A hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give the same measure as I have received--Albert Einstein