So in the past two weeks I have had three pretty negative experiences/encounters with women over the age of 50, I would estimate. I don't really want to go into details on the blog, but all three events really kind of took me aback because of the level of animosity, petty-ness, negative language, etc. that I received. Because I am a pretty sensitive person, all three situations have really bothered me, but most of all, made me recognize a deep fear within myself. I really have a fear of reaching that age and season in my life and not having grown. I have a fear of going through that many years of life and still being immature, rude, petty, hateful, negative, shallow, or grudge-holding. Some people worry about reaching retirement age and not having enough saved to live on or perhaps worry about the health-problems they may have at a later time in their life. Me, I am really terrified of just being an ugly person...ugly in spirit and character and temperament. These experiences, although hurtful, have really been a wake-up call to me of how important it is to constantly seek after those fruits of the Spirit...how important it is with every interaction in the day to strive to grow in maturity, patience, and love . Because one day you wake up and find yourself a miserable 60 year old witch, ugly inside and out, traumatizing innocent young women who never meant you any harm. It just really makes me sad. And motivated to check any anger, any bitterness, any self-entitlement, any impatience now before it festers and turns me into an ugly, mean-spirited person. What do I want to be when I grow up? I want to be loving...patient...kind...peaceful...gentle. I want to be beautiful inside!! Now is the time to start moisturizing the soul, now is the time to work out a healthy spirit, now is the time to focus on growing in kindness and love.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.- Galatians 5:22
Solar Eclipse
2 weeks ago
As a 52 year old who has known quite a variety of other younger and older people (some, not so nice), I have to say, even though I don't know you, I don't think you will have to worry about becoming that person.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't really something that just happens with age, although I suppose a bad marriage, money problems or the like could exaserbate a bad attitude.
A very good friend told me something when I was 30 and she was 69... She said, you know, if you could go back in time and see that person, I'll bet you would see the same attitudes that make them such an ugly person now.It is just that when you are young, people sometimes cut you slack for the bad attitude when they shouldn't.
Anyway, you seem like a pretty nice person to me. I hope your way gets better and just remember this... Summer is coming and I hope it will be a pleasant one for you! :)
Nancy
I met the person I never want to be my first 6 months I was in Dallas. I like to call these type of people human mosquitoes as I'm not exactly sure what their purpose is. If nothing else they provide a movie drive in sized billboard that says "don't go this way!" Don't worry. You won't end up like that.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what kind of people you are talking about. Very good post. I don't think you have anything to worry about, because you are just not that type. You can't stop serving others long enough to be hateful.
ReplyDeleteI think you have pretty much mastered the loving, kind, patient, inside/out person. Just keep grooming those qualities that you already have. Young gripey, selfish, nasty, bitter young people make "ditto" old people. You are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteNancy, thank you for taking time to read this blog and leave some encouraging comments on my last couple of posts!
ReplyDeleteAnd to my very kind family, also thanks for the encouragement...and be sure to give me a hard shake if you feel I'm starting to slack in the attitude department!!!
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI haven't met you, but I have NO concerns about your turning out to be that kind of person! You sound super to me.
I'm a 62-year-old grandmother, and I love this stage of my life. It's the first time I've had the time to really pay attention to and do what I love work-wise, besides the inestimable privilege of being a mom. Always before, the world of earning a living took precedence. You'll have a meaningful and rich life throughout, I'm sure, because that's how you roll!
Kind Regards,
Karen Shafer
Thanks, Karen! I am so inspired by your work and your blog...I think you are exactly the kind of woman I aspire to be in a few years!
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