Missing Wyshina

It has been three months today since we lost our wonderful friend Wyshina. There has not been a day go by that I have not thought of her many times. I never really knew what it meant to miss someone in the way that I have found myself missing Wyshina and her friendship. I went to take Jazmine and Jordan some Valentines' treats on Saturday and every time I see them I am just weighted down with such a heavy sadness...and missing their mom in a whole new way. It's difficult to imagine how her family feels that loss....I know it is what I feel magnified by a hundred.

Janet put together some awesome memory books for the kids in which so many people wrote in and shared their memories and impressions of Wyshina. It was amazing to see how many different people she had touched and impacted and who were moved to take the time to share those memories. I wish that I could give everyone I know one of those books just so they could get a glimpse of what a beautiful person she was. This is what I shared for the book:

I still remember the day I met Wyshina. I was interviewing for the position at the After School Academy and Janet had asked a group of parents to participate as well. Wyshina was friendly, yet firm, and from that first meeting it was obvious how serious she was about her children. It was clear how she only wanted the very best for them and how careful she was when making decisions that would affect them. That impression would only deepen in the years I would know her and work beside her. Only a few short months later, Wyshina moved from dedicated parent volunteer to an employee within the after school program and that’s where our friendship began to grow. Wyshina was an amazing person to know and work with. She was always positive, upbeat, and open to anything. She loved the kids and parents and created a warm, welcoming, comfortable, and safe atmosphere just with her presence and smile. Although technically I was her supervisor at first, it never felt that way. We were truly a team and together we worked, laughed, and dreamed dreams for the program and for the kids and for ourselves. Every day before the kids arrived, Wyshina and I would go to the community room to begin setting up and every day as we worked, we had some of the best conversations about life, about our struggles, about our successes. Wyshina was one of those rare people I have come across in my life that I could just be 100% myself around…I could talk to her about anything, vent to her about anything, and get wisdom from her about anything. We shared so many laughs, so many funny moments, so many “aha!” moments. Even after I left the ASA and Wyshina continued to work with the other team members in building a beautiful program, we remained close friends. We both loved Mexican food, especially On the Border, and that would often be a special place we would go to just talk and catch up. However, it was hard to get together or find time to talk to Wyshina as much as I wanted to because she was always busy… working, taking care of her kids, and taking care of her family. She loved her parents so much and felt a deep commitment to caring for them and being there for them, especially during the times her mom might have health problems or surgeries. I used to admire her so much for being so patient and so uncomplaining about the many things on her plate, the many responsibilities and concerns she was always juggling, and yet she maintained the ability to stay positive and smiling and willing to do whatever was needed wherever she was at day after day. Wyshina was so independent. She often wouldn’t let you too close because she didn’t want to worry you with the worries and struggles she was facing. She wanted to deal with it herself, which was sometimes hard for us who were her friends and wanted to lighten her load at times. I know she often struggled and she faced so many challenges that few of us really even knew about or understood, but the beautiful thing is she always made a way. She was so strong and determined and her kids, Jazmine and Jordan, always came first. No matter how tired and weary she was from just dealing with life, her kids were always, always, always, loved, hugged, and cared for with the utmost quality. Their needs, their education, their health, their well-being were always Wyshina’s top priority and she did a wonderful job making sure all those things were more than adequately supplied, even if resources were at times limited…she made a way. And then, amazingly, she had plenty of love and laughter left over for her friends, the kids in the program, and the community as a whole. Wyshina was such a beautiful and special person. She was an inspiration to so many, including myself. I will miss her friendship, our talks, and just what I learned from her unselfish and giving spirit. I will miss the way she brought out and encouraged the best in me and in others. I will miss her enthusiasm, her exuberance, her enjoyment of the little things in life. I will miss the light and laughter she brought to her little corner of the world wherever she was at. But at the same time, I am so thankful that our lives were allowed to cross and thankful for the years of friendship and partnership that we did share...I am thankful for all I’ve learned and will always love, treasure, and remember about this beautiful person, mother, daughter, leader, and friend.

Three months. Soon it will be three years, or even three decades. And we won't have spoken to her or heard her laugh or seen her smile. But we will still be remembering her and missing her and loving her very much.