The Close of a Chapter

I have been saddened the past few days after I received the news that the education department at CitySquare (formerly Central Dallas Ministries--where I used to work) will be closing. That means the After School Academy, summer program, Teen U, Mid-Teen U, and Roseland Library/Bookstore will all be coming to end in May, along with the community center in Roseland. To be honest, I was really heartbroken by this news--heartbroken for the families and kids and the community that love these programs and that are benefiting in so many immeasurable ways, for Janet who has dedicated her entire life the past 13-15 years to developing the department to what it is today, and just a little bit for myself because these programs and the people that ARE the programs have played such an enormous role in my life and are so close to my heart.

The reason I came to Dallas in February 2003 (8 years ago) was to intern under Janet and learn about the challenges of urban life and of urban education. The very first people I met here were Janet and the kids and families of the After School Academy in Turner Courts and the members of the Central Dallas church. I never really expected to still be here in Dallas eight years later, but the experiences I had and the relationships I built there changed me so much...they helped me define a purpose and passion for my life. They helped me to shape a much deeper and more diverse world view. They taught me about empathy, about compassion, about community, and about justice in ways I had never previously understood those words. Every single day I learned so much....about people, about education, about kids, about injustice, about hope, about real community, about struggle...and about myself. I learned so much about the potential in kids and discovered this strong desire to make sure every child has a chance to capitalize on that potential. I loved everything about the ideals, the mission, the vision, the principles, and the practice of our programs....(I still say "our" although I haven't been a staff member in almost 5 years)....we were so unique from other after school organizations and had so much substance. I loved that children were always valued and never exploited, even if it meant losing funding opportunities or public recognition at times. I love that it was always about the quality more than the quantity and that standard was never compromised. I love that the program valued people and parents and that it thrived on the wisdom and strengths that everybody brought to the table, not just program directors. I love that each new generation of the After School Academy or University of Values was a family more than it was a program...a family that keeps in touch long after the programs have ended or moved or changed. There was always so much love....real love. Even though I wasn't as involved as I once was, I could still drop by Roseland every Friday afternoon and find that same love, that same sense of family and community. No matter what changes I personally went through, I could always go back there and sort of find myself again. And now it won't be there. At least not in the same way it always has been. And that makes me really, really sad.

And then my heart breaks for the kids....kids who love having a place to call their own, a place that feels like "theirs", a place they can go to find that same sense of love and family that means so much to me as well. If you've ever seen the way Katrina hugs her kids in the library and the smiles on their faces when they see her, if you could see the kids busily working in the growing garden behind the ASA, if you could see the polite way they greet a visitor, if you could see the books, the artwork, the artifacts from all sorts of amazing learning experiments splashed across the walls, you would know in an instant why this is so tragic. Although I know Janet and Katrina and others will stay in touch with kids long after the program is gone, it will be hard to fill those special hours every afternoon. It was so exciting to see the program grow and develop over the years....so exciting each time an amazing idea got put into action....and now it just seems like such a loss, although I know it isn't. It's just how I feel right now.

And then there's Janet. What can I say about this woman to accurately describe her drive, her passion, her excitement for these kids and for this calling? The entire education department existed because of Janet....because when she came to Dallas however many years ago (14-15?) she got to know her neighbors and the kids in her community. She began having a handful of kids over to her apartment every afternoon after school....and then she began going to their schools....and she began to see a lot of things, but mostly she saw potential. She saw kids who were capable of anything, even if no one else saw it. She saw kids that were worth investing in, even if no one else was investing. From that very first after school program in the living room to the wide array of learning opportunities you see at Roseland today, Janet has been working tirelessly to "helps kids envision who they can and will one day become." I don't think any of us will ever know just how much she put of herself into making each program be the very best it could be. I think back to the old summer program days. Countless hours went into each University of Values summer program....planning the theme, gathering resources, working out administrative details, planning field trips, planning the QUALITY staff development for the teen workers, and then once the program started, putting in 10-12 hour days at the camp, followed by hours each evening responding to the journals, morning message boards, and lesson plans of each teen staff member....for eight weeks straight. Many years, Janet was the only full-time staff member and the responsibility for running after school programs and summer programs was on her shoulders alone. There were times of success, times of failure, times filled with growing pains....but each year brought new lessons, new possibilities, new things to tweak and new things to try....and each year, the program grew a little more and got a little better. Staff members (like me) have come and gone. Parents have come and gone. Kids have come and gone. Locations and buildings have come and gone. But Janet was there from day one...this is her "baby." I can't really imagine Janet without the After School Academy to develop, without summer programs to plan, without "director of education" behind her name. I got a chance to eat with Janet the other night and visit with her about all of this, and although it hasn't been an easy adjustment, she in her usual optimism is looking forward to her new role and the new possibilities at CitySquare. I know she will do amazing things in this new direction, but I will really miss seeing what could have unfolded in the other one. Maybe it's silly but I feel as sad as though something has died, although I know it hasn't and never will. The After School Academy and University of Values and the programs at Roseland will always be alive in every kid, every staff member, every parent, every teacher who was blessed to be a part of its very special, very unique history...it will always be a little part of us-- or in some cases like me, a big part of us. I'm so thankful to have been a part of it, to have known Kashia, Bubba, Whitney, Tiffany, Jessica, Kendell, Octavia, Demarcus, Wyshina, Ms. Fields, Chanel, Ravyn, Deidre, Jhor-Dai, Deshaumbra, Jazmine, Jordan, Daijha, Demarcus, Antionette, Regina, Deandre, Dezaree, Jazz, Adrian, Danielle, Khris, Tionna, Twasanna, Daquaylon, Damian, Tyrese, Chartaydra, Rosco, Buddy, Keishunna, Tatiyana, Maurice, Latrice, Ladarrius, Shaniqua, Diamond, Katrina, Paula, Ladaysha, Iesha, Niesha, Eddie, Vanessa, Nathan, Erica, Rocio, Victor, Sylvia, Phantasia, Triniti, Amaya, Briana, Junior.....and so, so, SO many more people that mean the world to me and have given me a kind of unconditional acceptance that I never found elsewhere. I'm so thankful to have been able to learn so much from a mentor like Janet. I'm so thankful to have just been there and thankful that these places and faces have been such a special part of my life. The things I learned there have given me something to aspire to find and achieve again, they have given me a new lens through which to see the world, and above all else they have given me a new definition of hope.

So while this is the close of a chapter in many ways, I know the story really isn't over...not for Janet, not for CitySquare, and not for the kids. There are many chapters yet to be written. But I think deep down, this one that's ending will always be my personal favorite. Thank you, Janet, for all you have done, for teaching me so very much, and for giving so many people the gift of this experience through your hard work, your sacrifice of time, and your commitment to your belief in people and kids. I know your "ripple" has only just begun....I can't wait to see where it reaches.