Sunday, June 14, 2009

Change Is A'Comin!

Decision making has never been one of my strong points. You see, I hate change but for some reason it's like I'm always putting myself in situations that require change. For me, the actual decision to make the change is the hardest, followed by the transition phase in which I constantly question myself and regret the choice and stress myself out. But typically, once the "deal is sealed" and I'm past the point of no return, I'm fine.

For the past couple of months, I have been grappling with a pretty big decision. I have been at Pearl C. Anderson for three years now...two as a teacher and one as a librarian. From the outside looking in, it seems the librarian posiiton is quite the "cushy" job. No grading, no profiling, no test scores, no parent calls. It was a pretty stress-free year. But all year, something just seemed a little empty. I just wasn't being challenged and I didn't feel like I was making any kind of real difference. No one cared if I came to work and did my job or not. The only kids that I really had any kind of relationship with were kids I had as students...not the incoming sixth graders or kids I didn't already know. Then on top of that, our school is just pretty much a mess as far as the structure and discipline and accountability goes. The kids are out of control all the time. Rigorous, meaningful instruction is rarely seen. However, my frustration is not even really with the kids or even with their parents that send them to school acting that way. My frustration is with my co-workers who refuse to be team-players, who refuse to work together, who refuse to follow any of the initiatives that are put in place in an attempt to build some kind of structure. My frustration is with our administrators who don't hold anyone accountable...teachers or students. I felt myself growing apathetic. I felt myself getting content and comfortable, hiding out in the library from all the frustrating stuff going on in the building. I was distancing myself and daily losing a little more of the drive that used to motivate me. But I wasn't happy because I don't want to live my life at a mediocre level. I don't want to give mediocre effort at whatever is before me. I began to realize that maybe the library was not for me. I began to realize that Pearl C. Anderson might not be the place for me either. On top of that, many of my reasons for being at Pearl C. had transferred away as Turner Courts was torn down, the ASA moved to Roseland, and many of the connections, relationships, and families that I hoped to build with at Pearl C. disappeared. Suddenly, I felt very disconnected within the South Dallas community that used to be rich with partnerships.

So kind of on a whim, I looked up KIPP TRUTH Academy, a charter school that I've known about since they started here in Dallas in 2003. This is a 5-8 grade middle school in Oak Cliff that is part of a national network of KIPP (Knowledge is Power Program) schools. These schools demand high expectations of both students and staff, but have amazing results. I contacted the principal out of curiosity and the ball began rolling. I attended an information session just to observe the school. I saw quiet, orderly classrooms where students were focused and diligently working. Teachers weren't screaming or yelling or talking on cell phones. They were TEACHING! Whoa!! I saw students lined up without a sound in the hallways for dismissal or restroom breaks...each one holding a book and reading silently. It was such a drastic constrast to the Pearl C. environment that I almost couldn't believe that these kids were the same age, same background, same demographic as the students I see every day. When these KIPPsters leave 8th grade, they are getting scholarships to all the best private high schools in the area...some have even been accepted to boarding schools in the northeast. They improve 5-6 grade levels in reading and math within just a year or two at KIPP. I was impressed to say the least. I was invited back for an interview, then an extended observation session, then to teach a sample lesson. Each time the principal was very straightforward about their expectations for both students and staff. He emphasized that it is very hard work and not the place for everyone. The school does have an extended school day (7-5 each day) and two Saturdays a month (8-1) and three extra weeks in the summer. They have a very specific structure and very specific procedures in place for everything from how to pass up papers to how to take a class to the restroom. Some might find this environment too restrictive, but the students seem to have adapted well and the absolute absence of any discipline problems speaks to the effectiveness of having a consistent structure in place that ALL the teachers adhere closely to. Every teacher at KIPP is committed and dedicated to seeing each student succeed no matter what. College is the goal and it is emphasized often. Every second counts is also a heavily-repeated theme. Although I was somewhat intimidated by the intensity, I was also intrigued by the idea of being a part of something that is really making measurable progress with these kids. I was intrigued by the idea of being able to TEACH instead of deal with crazy discipline issues all day every day. I was excited to be a part of a committed and passionate team of people who feel the same way about education that I do.

Well, just as I was getting pretty excited about possibly getting on board at KIPP, I hit a few speed bumps. First, KIPP starts their new school year in June. They promote their students to the next grade and have three weeks of summer school, including two days of "KIPPnotizing" for the incoming fifth graders in which all the procedures and policies are drilled into them. I had already committed to working at Circle of Support for the summer as well as six hours of grad school classes and was quite intimidated by making such a big transition so soon...especially since the only position he still needed to fill was science. Now I've never entertained the thought of teaching science even for even a minute before. Not that I hated science in school, but I didn't just love it either. I've always just naturally been a reading/language arts person. So I wasn't sure how I felt about that. So after much excruciating thought, I told the principal that I just didn't think I could do it because I just didn't feel starting so quickly in June was the right timing for me. However, he then presented another possibility to me. I could teach 7th grade science (which there are only two class sections of 7th graders), I could come two days in June, and then start in August. Now not having to back out on my summer commitments made me feel entirely better about this possibility.

Still, it has been an inner struggle in making this decision. Teaching at KIPP is not for everyone. You're basically committing to at least a 50-60 hour work week, eleven months out of the year. I've wondered if I can fit into the discipline style and structure. I've wondered if I will regret giving up the freedom and flexibility I've had in the library position. On a more minor detail level, I've struggled with not being able to work at Circle of Support next year and not being able to go on Wilderness Trek this August with CDM after all. I've battled myself about teaching 7th grade and about teaching science. At KIPP I most likely will not have a classroom...I will teach in the cafeteria. I'm wondering how that will work for science. There are a million little factors that I have weighed again and again and driven myself crazy with. It's just that there are decisions in the past that I made and now realize I made for the wrong reasons and I don't want this to be one of those situations.

But at the same time, it has been good because it has forced me to look closely at myself, what I'm really about, and how I'm contributing to the things I believe in. I'm realizing that I have allowed myself to become "comfortable" and unchallenged...and a person doesn't grow like that. People around me don't grow like that. The world doesn't change like that. I realized that I have the opportunity to work in an enviroment that will not only challenge me, but hold me accountable. And where I can be a part of changing the trajectory of kids' lives by giving them the quality education that leads to choices and possibilities for their futures.

This past Thursday and Friday I had to attend the first two days of orientation for new 5th graders, called "KIPPnotizing". Let me just say it was intense...and tedious. But what I'm realizing is that the strict discipline and consistent structure completely eliminates so many of the distractions to learning that exist in other schools. Teachers I've always worked with commonly remark, "Well, you just have to choose your battles..." But at KIPP, the structure eliminates all the battles, so all you have to do is teach. It's really a startling contrast to every other school I have ever been in, and I'm really starting to get excited about being a part of it.

You can go to www.kipp.org or www.kipptruth.org (the Dallas school that I will be at) to learn more. I would love to hear what you think!!

"The experience of the race shows that we get our most important education not through books, but through our work. We are developed by our daily task, or else demoralized by it, as by nothing else."- Anna Garlin Spencer

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Summer--Here With a Bang!

Today is only the second day of summer break and it's already busy!! It's been great so far though!! Thursday was our last official day for DISD. After finishing up there I headed straight to our teacher meeting and parent open house for the Circle of Support Girl S.M.A.R.T. Summer Learning Program where I work every summer. I have grown to really throughly enjoy working at this camp. It is Monday-Friday for eight weeks each summer, located in South Dallas. I work with the girls program, although there is also a boys' program. I teach 5th and 6th grade Reading every day in the mornings. In the afternoons, the kids have all kinds of enrichment activities and programs. On Fridays we take field trips. I really look forward to the program every year...this year no exception. However, this year I will also be teaching a writing enrichment class in the afternoons. After the meeting I was a little overwhelmed because I have sooooo much preparation to do this weekend! After not teaching reading or writing during the school year this year, I'm a little rusty and need to go back through all my stuff and pull some things together. So that is pretty much what the rest of my weekend will consist of.

Friday morning was wonderful because my good college friend, Crystal Holm, came into town, along with her fiance, Kyle. Crystal now lives in Oregon and I have not seen her in two years!!! I was really excited to see her and also meet Kyle who I have heard so much about. I kind of drug them around all day, because I had to go back up to Pearl C. to check on some things with the summer school equipment check-out. Then I had promised Jazmine (Wyshina's daughter) that I would take her to lunch for her thirteenth birthday this week. Jazmine will be leaving next week to go live with her dad in Guam for at least a year (he's in the Air Force) so I've been trying to spend time with her before she leaves. So we went to eat at Razoo's where she and I loaded up on fried food (fried gator tails, fried pickles, and fries...yuck, I'm grossing myself out just reading that!). Then Crystal, Kyle, and I went to Wal-mart to get some things to cook out later that evening. We played a little Wii, made brownies, and then set up for our cook-out by the pool. Holly, Aaron, and Maddy also joined us. Holly brought three things that were just awesome...deviled eggs (yumm!!), fresh cherries (yumm yumm yumm!!!) and then a vase of some beautiful fresh tulips for my apartment. They look so pretty on my dining table...I sure wish I had a camera to take a picture of them!! :-( T.A. brought his little girl to swim in the pool and she insisted on me doing that with her most of the time, so I'm glad that Crystal, Kyle, Holly, and Aaron were able to entertain themselves quite well. (Sorry guys!). Even though I didn't get to do as much visiting as I would have liked, I am so glad that all of these people were able to come over. Crystal and Kyle had to get up really early for their flight back to California today so it was a short visit, but I'll take it!

So the rest of today and tomorrow will consist of class and lesson planning. Camp will start Monday, and my Summer I class will start on Tuesday. For Summer I, I will have class Tuesday and Thursday night from 5:00-9:00. On three, everyone say ugh...one, two, three, UGHHHHH!!!! Then in Summer II I will have class at the same times, but on Mondays and Wednesdays. So it's going to be a long summer. Next Thursday and Friday, I will go to KIPP for two days of "KIPPnotizing" (more about this in my next post!) and next weekend we will have a bake sale for Trek. So...the summer busy-ness begins...but for the most part it's busy-ness that I really enjoy (not the night classes, but everything else!) So with that said...got to go down to the garage, dig through the teaching stuff and get these plans together!!! Happy summer everyone!! :-)

Monday, June 1, 2009

Hmmmm!!!

I got this in an email forward today...pretty good!!

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said: Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride. You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams. You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard,a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this and then you tell me....... I CAN'T PRAY?