A Reader's Dream Come True!

Some of you may have heard me mention the "MET Project" over the past year or so. I won't go into the details now, but basically, this was an extremely intensive, stressful, complicated national research project that our district chose to be a part of. I was designated as the school project coordinator (participation was supposed to be voluntary but that's not how it was presented to us...it was more of a directive) which ended up being one of the most, shall we say, challenging experiences of my professional life so far. Anyways, after 18 months of headaches, frustrations, etc. etc. the project is finally over and I can focus on the perks!! As the SPC, if I met certain deadlines along the way, I could receive extra incentives. I ended up getting four Barnes and Nobles gift cards, as well as a new Ipod Nano Touch. The gift cards hadn't been in my hands but a couple of hours and I was on my way to Barnes and Noble to redeem them for my long-awaited one of these.....



Isn't it beautiful?? Definitely worth all the stress of the past year to be able to get this almost free. I fortunately was able to get the latest version of the Nook Color, which has so many neat capabilities that it is almost as good as an Ipad in my opinion. Not only can I view books, magazines, and newspapers in color and with a touchscreen, but I can store music, photos, and files on the Nook, I can access Pandora and the web and watch streaming video over it, I can email from the Nook...it is amazing! It is everything I hoped it would be! The only downside is not being able to purchase books quite as cheaply as say used books from Amazon, but I think that as e-readers become more popular, there will be more available for free from public libraries and other sources.

I'm so excited about my new toys...just in time for summer reading! And working out with the cute little Ipod! Every now and then hard work actually pays off!! :-)

My Daddy!

Wow, this semester was quite intense! I think I warned everyone that I might be MIA for awhile and it turns out my predictions were more than correct. In some ways, I feel I have worked harder the past couple of months than I ever have, but that might not be true. Just felt like it there for awhile. Between my job as a librarian, and my new apparent position of being an on-call substitute at my school, being the school project coordinator for the MET Project, working four days a week at the Boys and Girls Club, working every other Saturday for Upward Bound, taking 6 hours of master's classes, helping my friend coordinate his school's field day, tutoring on Sunday afternoons, and planning the grand finale for the CDM education department last weekend.....I was, shall we say, busy. Many of those things are now complete or almost complete so I'm feeling much better. Now just to gear up for the summer camp....:-) I think this summer will feel like a vacation, only working ONE job and being done at 4pm everyday...I won't know what to do with myself! Hmmm, maybe do things like work out, drink water, and go to bed on time to start with!

Anyways, since it seems I have somewhat started a tradition of talking about my appreciation for various family members on this blog, I would like to take this very special day, May 25, to talk about my wonderful pops on his birthday. The older I get and the more people I meet and especially the more kids and young people I interact with, I realize more and more how blessed I was to have the dad I did growing up. The more I talk to people, I realize what a rarity it is becoming to have a stable, consistent, godly, hard-working, honorable dad in one's life...but I have always had that and I am so grateful. Now that I've been an adult for awhile, I look back at how we were raised and I just don't think my dad and mom could have done a better job...and much of that is due to my dad's hard work, sacrifice, and leadership. When I think of my dad, the three words that come to mind are hard work, character, and sacrifice. A vivid memory from my childhood is sitting in church with my dad, holding his hand, and feeling the roughness and callousness of his skin...skin that was leathery from hard manual labor. For almost 30 years, he has gotten up six days a week to carry mail all day and then head to the farm to work many days until past dark. During the summer months when irrigating, he gets up before the sun comes up and sometimes doesn't get to stop working until the sun has been down for quite awhile. I remember sometimes going to bed without seeing my dad because he was still in the field. I remember him coming in late at night, tired, dirty, and smelling like tractors, dust, and grease, but I liked that smell. He never really enjoyed his mail route job, but it was a sacrifice he made year after year in order to provide for our family. On top of these two jobs, my dad has had pretty much a third job at church all these years, being the one that in many ways holds everything together there. He taught our Bible classes, led our singing, handled the finances, and much more. He showed us the example that our faith and our church should ALWAYS come first, no matter what else was going on or what other responsibilities we may have. My dad is also one of the most honest and honorable men I have ever known. He wouldn't cheat anyone or anything half a cent even if he had the chance. He is absolutely trustworthy in every way and his example truly stands out in a world where even Christians often are blurring the lines between right and wrong, honest and dishonest, fair and unfair. My dad is a very wise manager of finances and as a result he has the ability to be quietly generous in so many ways. I also think my dad was able to strike the perfect balance in allowing my brothers and me to have an enjoyable, carefree childhood while still instilling principles of hard work and responsibility in us. He also found the perfect balance in helping us make the transition to adulthood smoothly. I went to college with kids who either had absolutely no help from their parents or else had the proverbial silver spoons in their mouths, but I was fortunately somewhere in between...I had to work and do my part, but my parents were there to help me get through my education. My dad somehow knew just how much to do to help us without becoming a crutch for us. I get emotional when I think of how much he and my mom did without over the years to be able to get into a financial position to help us get started in life, and as a result, we have all been able to become independent and productive without too much stress or struggle. Another thing I love about my dad is he always treats people right. He treats our family right, he treats people in the community right, he treats strangers right. I never heard my dad curse or talk ugly in all my years of being around him. He just minds his business, works hard, and enjoys simple things. He doesn't need attention or praise or "things" to be happy. He is very humble and quiet, but he is also very wise. I just think I have the best dad in the world and I'm more thankful all the time for him! I can't wait for this time next year when he will finally get to retire from the post office and really have time to do the things he enjoys...he has definitely earned that right more than anybody!

There is so much more to say, but most of the people who will read this already know my dad and they know that no one could really describe him the way he deserves in a couple of paragraphs. He might not even read this but I just wanted the world to know what a great man and great father Mr. Weldon Embry has been to me!! Happy birthday!!

A Special Lady

Today is my grandmother's birthday, so I would like to say a few words in tribute of "MaMa." I am so thankful that I was blessed to grow up around all my grandparents and that I have had them for so many years of my life, including MaMa. "MaMa's house" was pretty much one of my favorite places in the world growing up....it has this certain smell that when I got home and unpacked my bag I would just sit and sniff my clothes because I loved it so much. Looking back, I see how patient MaMa must have been because I was always asking her to get something out or to show me how to do something....from painting pictures in the "little house" to teaching me to embroider and crochet to giving me driving lessons or getting out all the old photo albums or exploring the cellar or watching Little House on the Prairie reruns, MaMa always made sure I was happy and entertained! (This is in between making sure PaPa was taken care of and that meals were cooked, etc.) I used to also enjoy sitting with MaMa in church because I could count on her having a little notebook and pen for me to write with and, most importantly, gum in her purse. Other favorite activities were putting rollers in her hair for her (beauty shop!) or having beauty pageants in the bathroom in her nightgowns and high heels with Holly, Cindy, and Tammy or helping to can the green beans or check on the garden. And there's nothing like her homemade rolls or chocolate pie or ice cream or cream puffs....I probably shouldn't get started on the food list....it could go on for awhile! :-) I just have so many memories that bring a smile to my face and they wouldn't have been possible without my grandmother who I love dearly and am so happy to celebrate today! Thank you, MaMa, for giving me so many special memories over the years and for loving us so much!

Testing- The Cancer Killing Education Today

Since January I have been tutoring at a Boys and Girls Club here in Dallas after school four days per week. I have kids from 2nd through 7th grade and they are placed in the tutoring program based on report grades. I have really enjoyed my experience there so far and have of course really enjoyed having daily one-on-one relationships with kids again, since I really miss that in the library. I especially love my little 3rd and 4th grade boys...they are so energetic, yet still so sweet. One of these special guys is a little boy I will call "Corey." Corey is talkative, loves basketball, and loves to tell a story, but it only took a couple of sessions to realize that he is quite a bit below where he needs to be for a 4th grader. However, he is a hard worker and he definitely is willing to try. That's why the incident I'm about to describe disturbed me so deeply.

Last Tuesday the 4th, 7th, and 10th graders took the TAKS writing test. The other tests will be forthcoming throughout the spring, but the writing is always the first test to be administered. On Monday, I decided to go over a few writing tips with the 4th grade group, including techniques for strong beginnings. As we worked, Corey began to get frustrated because he was struggling with his beginning and with what I was demonstrating to the rest of the group. He then said, "Oh, well, I'm not going to school tomorrow anway." I quickly reminded him that it was a test day and that he really needed to be there, to which he responded, "But my teacher told me to stay home tomorrow." What?? I just looked at him with my jaw dropped, and he continued, "Yeah, she told me to stay home tomorrow and she would buy me a Game Stop gift card." Jaw dropped even further. I began to slowly ask him a few questions like what did his parents say about that and how many kids did his teacher tell that to...he responded that he was the only one. As I looked at Corey with his wide, innocent eyes, my heart just broke. Here was a kid that is struggling, that wants to do well, that really tries, but that was being sent a strong message that in essence said, "There is no hope for you. You're too dumb to pass this test, so just stay home so you won't mess up my test scores." My heart broke because I don't think Corey even realized that was what his teacher was telling him...but one day he will look back and he will understand what that game card meant. One day, sooner than later, he will internalize the message that his teachers gave up on him, that he wasn't worth teaching, that he couldn't produce a certain test score, so he's better off at home.

This is what testing has done for us. This is the result of the oh-so-noble No Child Left Behind. The thing is that after Corey told me this, I pulled him to the side and began to work with him one-on-one. For about 15 minutes, I worked with him, talked with him, guided him in his writing...and in just a few minutes, he had written a decent opening paragraph. He was so proud of it that he stood up on a chair to read it to the rest of the group. Was Corey going to pass the writing test the next day? Probably not. But that's not the point. That's not the end-all, be-all. The point is that when I worked with Corey for 15 minutes, I saw progress. I saw potential. I saw a child who deserves to be believed in, a child who needs support, but not a child who is better off at home.

Testing has gotten so out of control that there is no way that it is an even remotely accurate measurement of student achievement or of teacher ability. In Dallas ISD, teachers each year are given what is called a CEI score (classroom effectiveness index). This score is based pretty much on test scores and measures whether students showed growth from one grade to the next under that particular teacher. These CEI scores are factored into a lot of decisions. However, as a former sixth grade teacher, I discovered how unfair the CEI score system really was. I had over 90% of my students pass the reading exam, but I still did not receive a high CEI because they hadn't shown growth from the year before. Every year, we get incoming students from all these elementary schools around here that are 'recognized' and 'exemplary' and students that supposedly were 'commended' in reading and math...yet when they get to sixth grade, suddenly they don't even know their multiplication facts and can barely read. This is a district-wide problem. The students will flat out ask our teachers what the "code words" are going to be during a test or how the teacher plans to give them the answers. This is what they are accustomed to doing in elementary and are baffled when my co-workers here in middle school don't do that anymore. Oh yes, best believe teachers have figured out how to beat the system, whether it's by bribing their lowest kids to stay at home, or by changing answer documents, or by giving student's answers. This is what testing has done to education. This is what our state spends millions of dollars each year on while we cut thousands of jobs and cram 40 kids in a classroom. Do you think the pressure to cheat is bad now? Just wait until next year when a teacher is struggling to keep her job and her head above water with 250 kids a day to try to teach....the test is a joke now but will continue to become even more meaningless and even more a cancer to public education in the years to come as budgets are slashed but testing expectations increase.

Right now, teachers all across the state are hurting. Our hearts are literally breaking because no one seems to understand. No one seems to be listening. We are screaming at the top of our lungs but it is falling on deaf ears. No one seems to understand or care how serious this crisis is!! Why can’t we make people understand? Why can’t we make them understand what we go through every day, what we see every day, what we need every day? Why can’t we make them see how important we are? Why can’t we make them see how crucial our work is? Why is it so easy just to give 100,000 of us the “axe” in one single swipe of a pen? Why can’t they look at children and see what we see? Why can’t they look at our future and see it the way we can? The most helpless, powerless feeling in the world is being a teacher in the state of Texas right now, watching the cancer of high-stakes testing suck the life out of our schools, out of our profession, out of our children, and out of our future....watching powerful people slash money and jobs and schools like they mean nothing....watching more and more children not just slip through the cracks, but be literally shoved through the cracks while we stand helplessly by-- voiceless and unimportant.

Wake Up!!!

Article in the Houston Chronicle....do these facts not disturb our leaders???

Expert says education at risk if state's spending cuts enacted

By GARY SCHARRER
Austin bureau

Feb. 23, 2011, 10:50PM

AUSTIN — For Texans to truly understand the state's grim future may require all 1,030 school superintendents to immediately cancel high school sports — including Friday night football, demographer Steve Murdock says.

Of course, doing so might get them all fired.

So, the lights still will shine on Texas high school football this fall. But the coming crisis will not go away, he said.

According to Murdock, unless state leaders address the current trend line, by 2040 three out of every 10 Texas workers will not have a high school diploma.

Education is the only remedy, he said, and the early budget plans would make the trend line much worse.

Public education stands to lose about $11.5 billion from current funding levels. The cuts likely would lead to larger class sizes and the loss of tens of thousands of jobs for teachers and education support staff. The budget proposals also would cut early childhood intervention, teen parenting eduction, reading, math and science initiatives, and programs to help students stay in school.

Pre-K, TEXAS grants

Murdock is particularly concerned about the two programs he says are most critical: high quality pre-kindergarten and TEXAS grants, which he considers the building blocks for elevating public education.

Both programs, however, face severe budget cuts.

The preliminary House budget plan would cut about $222 million out of Pre-K funding for the next two years affecting about 101,000 children currently in the full-day program. The TEXAS grant program faces a 41 percent budget cut, dropping the number of students who get college financial help from nearly 87,000 to 27,000.

"I am very concerned," said Murdock, a sociology professor at Rice University and the former state demographer who also served as U.S. Census Bureau director in the George W. Bush administration. "It's not like we have a lot of slack in the system where we can slip a little bit and still be OK."

Minority children now make up at least 66 percent of the state's 4.8 million public school enrollment, most from low-income families. In the last 10 years, the number of children from low-income families has increased by 893,055, surpassing overall enrollment growth during the same period.

Education is the single best predictor of income, Murdock says, and the combination of explosive Hispanic population growth and low academic achievement produces the sour forecast.

"We are lagging now and to fail to educate this population is a formula for long-term disaster for Texas," Murdock said. "The thing that is most important for us to recognize is that what we do today with these young people will determine the future for all of us."

Catching kids early

Proposed cuts to Pre-K funding disturb Spring Branch ISD school board member Susan Kellner. Spring Branch has had a model Pre-K program for years and a full-day program for 10 years.

Pre-K works, Kellner said, citing statistics showing that Spring Branch students perform 5 percent to 9.2 percent better on reading, math and writing tests if they attended Pre- K.

"If you catch them early, you catch any kind of learning disability, you catch any kind of family dynamic that you help them with, you catch speech problems, and you can remediate when their brains are so malleable," Kellner said. "You can change the way they learn. This is the way you get kids to college."

House Public Education Chairman Rob Eissler, R-The Woodlands, said he cannot defend the proposed cuts in Pre-K and TEXAS grant funding.

"We have some serious, serious decisions to make," Eissler said. "If you predict the future based on today, it's not bright."

The consensus of Pre-K research is that Pre-K investment is the best place to spend education money because it delivers the greatest return, said Ed Fuller, an education researcher at the University of Texas at Austin.

Cutting education spending is like mortgaging the state's future, he said, and will take years to recover.

"Essentially," Fuller said, "we're going to end up with two groups of people: one who can afford to have their kids educated, and a much larger group of Texans who can't afford to have their kids educated."

In the long run, Texas will lose money as struggling students drop out, he said. They end up paying fewer taxes and needing more social services or end up incarcerated, he said.

The Close of a Chapter

I have been saddened the past few days after I received the news that the education department at CitySquare (formerly Central Dallas Ministries--where I used to work) will be closing. That means the After School Academy, summer program, Teen U, Mid-Teen U, and Roseland Library/Bookstore will all be coming to end in May, along with the community center in Roseland. To be honest, I was really heartbroken by this news--heartbroken for the families and kids and the community that love these programs and that are benefiting in so many immeasurable ways, for Janet who has dedicated her entire life the past 13-15 years to developing the department to what it is today, and just a little bit for myself because these programs and the people that ARE the programs have played such an enormous role in my life and are so close to my heart.

The reason I came to Dallas in February 2003 (8 years ago) was to intern under Janet and learn about the challenges of urban life and of urban education. The very first people I met here were Janet and the kids and families of the After School Academy in Turner Courts and the members of the Central Dallas church. I never really expected to still be here in Dallas eight years later, but the experiences I had and the relationships I built there changed me so much...they helped me define a purpose and passion for my life. They helped me to shape a much deeper and more diverse world view. They taught me about empathy, about compassion, about community, and about justice in ways I had never previously understood those words. Every single day I learned so much....about people, about education, about kids, about injustice, about hope, about real community, about struggle...and about myself. I learned so much about the potential in kids and discovered this strong desire to make sure every child has a chance to capitalize on that potential. I loved everything about the ideals, the mission, the vision, the principles, and the practice of our programs....(I still say "our" although I haven't been a staff member in almost 5 years)....we were so unique from other after school organizations and had so much substance. I loved that children were always valued and never exploited, even if it meant losing funding opportunities or public recognition at times. I love that it was always about the quality more than the quantity and that standard was never compromised. I love that the program valued people and parents and that it thrived on the wisdom and strengths that everybody brought to the table, not just program directors. I love that each new generation of the After School Academy or University of Values was a family more than it was a program...a family that keeps in touch long after the programs have ended or moved or changed. There was always so much love....real love. Even though I wasn't as involved as I once was, I could still drop by Roseland every Friday afternoon and find that same love, that same sense of family and community. No matter what changes I personally went through, I could always go back there and sort of find myself again. And now it won't be there. At least not in the same way it always has been. And that makes me really, really sad.

And then my heart breaks for the kids....kids who love having a place to call their own, a place that feels like "theirs", a place they can go to find that same sense of love and family that means so much to me as well. If you've ever seen the way Katrina hugs her kids in the library and the smiles on their faces when they see her, if you could see the kids busily working in the growing garden behind the ASA, if you could see the polite way they greet a visitor, if you could see the books, the artwork, the artifacts from all sorts of amazing learning experiments splashed across the walls, you would know in an instant why this is so tragic. Although I know Janet and Katrina and others will stay in touch with kids long after the program is gone, it will be hard to fill those special hours every afternoon. It was so exciting to see the program grow and develop over the years....so exciting each time an amazing idea got put into action....and now it just seems like such a loss, although I know it isn't. It's just how I feel right now.

And then there's Janet. What can I say about this woman to accurately describe her drive, her passion, her excitement for these kids and for this calling? The entire education department existed because of Janet....because when she came to Dallas however many years ago (14-15?) she got to know her neighbors and the kids in her community. She began having a handful of kids over to her apartment every afternoon after school....and then she began going to their schools....and she began to see a lot of things, but mostly she saw potential. She saw kids who were capable of anything, even if no one else saw it. She saw kids that were worth investing in, even if no one else was investing. From that very first after school program in the living room to the wide array of learning opportunities you see at Roseland today, Janet has been working tirelessly to "helps kids envision who they can and will one day become." I don't think any of us will ever know just how much she put of herself into making each program be the very best it could be. I think back to the old summer program days. Countless hours went into each University of Values summer program....planning the theme, gathering resources, working out administrative details, planning field trips, planning the QUALITY staff development for the teen workers, and then once the program started, putting in 10-12 hour days at the camp, followed by hours each evening responding to the journals, morning message boards, and lesson plans of each teen staff member....for eight weeks straight. Many years, Janet was the only full-time staff member and the responsibility for running after school programs and summer programs was on her shoulders alone. There were times of success, times of failure, times filled with growing pains....but each year brought new lessons, new possibilities, new things to tweak and new things to try....and each year, the program grew a little more and got a little better. Staff members (like me) have come and gone. Parents have come and gone. Kids have come and gone. Locations and buildings have come and gone. But Janet was there from day one...this is her "baby." I can't really imagine Janet without the After School Academy to develop, without summer programs to plan, without "director of education" behind her name. I got a chance to eat with Janet the other night and visit with her about all of this, and although it hasn't been an easy adjustment, she in her usual optimism is looking forward to her new role and the new possibilities at CitySquare. I know she will do amazing things in this new direction, but I will really miss seeing what could have unfolded in the other one. Maybe it's silly but I feel as sad as though something has died, although I know it hasn't and never will. The After School Academy and University of Values and the programs at Roseland will always be alive in every kid, every staff member, every parent, every teacher who was blessed to be a part of its very special, very unique history...it will always be a little part of us-- or in some cases like me, a big part of us. I'm so thankful to have been a part of it, to have known Kashia, Bubba, Whitney, Tiffany, Jessica, Kendell, Octavia, Demarcus, Wyshina, Ms. Fields, Chanel, Ravyn, Deidre, Jhor-Dai, Deshaumbra, Jazmine, Jordan, Daijha, Demarcus, Antionette, Regina, Deandre, Dezaree, Jazz, Adrian, Danielle, Khris, Tionna, Twasanna, Daquaylon, Damian, Tyrese, Chartaydra, Rosco, Buddy, Keishunna, Tatiyana, Maurice, Latrice, Ladarrius, Shaniqua, Diamond, Katrina, Paula, Ladaysha, Iesha, Niesha, Eddie, Vanessa, Nathan, Erica, Rocio, Victor, Sylvia, Phantasia, Triniti, Amaya, Briana, Junior.....and so, so, SO many more people that mean the world to me and have given me a kind of unconditional acceptance that I never found elsewhere. I'm so thankful to have been able to learn so much from a mentor like Janet. I'm so thankful to have just been there and thankful that these places and faces have been such a special part of my life. The things I learned there have given me something to aspire to find and achieve again, they have given me a new lens through which to see the world, and above all else they have given me a new definition of hope.

So while this is the close of a chapter in many ways, I know the story really isn't over...not for Janet, not for CitySquare, and not for the kids. There are many chapters yet to be written. But I think deep down, this one that's ending will always be my personal favorite. Thank you, Janet, for all you have done, for teaching me so very much, and for giving so many people the gift of this experience through your hard work, your sacrifice of time, and your commitment to your belief in people and kids. I know your "ripple" has only just begun....I can't wait to see where it reaches.